Pulling Out All The Stops

If you've read this blog much time at all, then you know that Ana often asks me to be God. She let's me know that she wants me to be someone different by asking her question like this, "God, why did that squirrel get deaded in the street?" It is my signal that I need to deepen my voice and think of something thoughtful to say. I'm not sure why she does this. Maybe she is wise enough to have no faith in what I say, or it could be that she likes my Morgan Freeman impersonation...

Last night topped all of my previous theatrical performances, however. Ana was wrestling with an issue that had come up on the playground. She was afraid that she had done a bad job because she wasn't paying attention to what some big girls were saying and they were getting annoyed with her. She takes things so much to heart and is so hard on herself, so she had some big stuff to work out. It showed.

God, I did a bad job today. I was not great. I wasn't listening to what the girls said.

(voice deepened appropriately) Oh My Child (very Godly don't you think?), it is okay. You didn't do a bad job. You're just learning. All kids have a hard time sometimes. You just weren't paying attention. That happens to your Mommy and Daddy too. I don't want you to be perfect, My Child. You get love just because you are you, not because of anything you do or don't do.

Apparently God wasn't convincing enough for her...

Mommy Mary?

(high voice) Yes?

Mommy Mary, I did not do good today. I had a bad day.

Oh Dear, that's okay. No one is perfect. You are not supposed to be. You did just fine. Even when you are a grown up you will still make mistakes. It's part of being human.

Still not good enough...

Angels?

(singing voice... didn't know what to do... not really angelic myself!) Y-e-e-e-e-s?

I was not good. I didn't know how to do it right.

That-is-okay. You-are-wonderful-the-way-you-are! Ahhhhhhh!

Still not good enough...

Baby Jesus?

(Oh for Pete's sake! This brought about momentary confusion. Do I go with Baby Jesus, but he could only make cooing sounds? Do I go with older Jesus, but Ana doesn't really get that yet, so that would probably just be confusing. I settled on toddler Jesus)

Yes?

I had a hard day. I had a trouble.

(little boy voice?) That okay. I have trouble too. Ana has a good heart. That what matters.

Still not good enough!

Ummm, Baby Jesus? Can I talk to your Daddy, Joseph?

(deep voice) It's me, Daddy Joseph, but I'm really tired, so you're going to have to make this quick.

Oh, okay then. Never mind. Goodnight, Daddy Joseph.

I felt a twinge of remorse, but really I didn't know where we could go next. I was not about to start impersonating the shepherd and his sheep. Baaaaa....