tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64650010606793882852024-03-12T23:00:05.669-05:00NokayA humorous blog about motherhood and life in general.Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.comBlogger586125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-90481758220659423402020-08-01T16:32:00.000-05:002020-08-01T16:44:41.695-05:00Through the Looking Glass<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have long been a fan of Disney World. I grew up going on a pretty regular basis and, as soon as they were old enough, my husband and I brought each of our children to Florida to be indoctrinated into all things magic and Mouse. Yet, I was firmly in the – “What?!? How could opening Disney World possibly be a good thing? We are in the middle of a pandemic!” - camp. I thought it was crazy that the parks were opening, and I thought that the people who would go must be equally crazy. Imagine my surprise, then, to find myself purchasing tickets and excitedly riding the monorail up to the gates of the Magic Kingdom.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">It all started with a drive to Florida. Our family of five was going stir-crazy at home. My husband has been working from a make-shift office in the corner of our bedroom since school shut down in late March. He spends most of his waking and all of his sleeping hours within the same four walls. For my and our three kids’ parts, given that we were only socializing with others outside, and that Texas gets H-O-T in the summer, we, too, were tired of the same view and the same company. Lucky enough to be able to, we rented a friend’s vacation home in the Florida Keys and set out for a road trip. My husband would work in a different house for a change, and I would do laundry and cook in a different laundry room and kitchen. Sigh. The pool and change of scenery would be a welcome reprieve, though! As would a backyard pool.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Our route from Austin to Islamorada took us through Orlando, where we were taunted by Disney souvenir shops and billboards of Mickey Mouse beckoning us to join the fun. All of us bemoaned the fact that we were so close, yet so far. My husband I mused that it would be a long time before we’d see Disney World again. The pandemic would have to pass, so too the massive crowds that would surely follow that milestone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Our time in the Keys was just the reprieve we needed. Relaxing by the pool, I read a local publication. In it were stories of people who had gone to Disney World and were sharing their experiences. No lines. No crowds. Strict safety measures. Reports of feeling safer in the Magic Kingdom than out in the real world. Could it be?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I shared the news with my husband, stating that after seeing the billboards and reading about the parks, it was killing me not to go. All it took was his reply, “Well, you know I love it, too…” His upcoming birthday provided the last excuse I needed to justify the whole crazy venture in my head. “We can go for your birthday!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Disney has a new system in which you purchase your tickets and then make a park reservation, allowing them to keep the numbers of visitors to each park within a desired range. I found it easy to buy our tickets online, and to get a reservation for the Magic Kingdom for one day. The day before, we drove up to Orlando, stayed in a hotel near Disney Springs, Disney’s shopping/entertainment area, and masked-up to take a look around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Disney Springs definitely had visitors, but the multiple empty parking spots showed just how many less there were than during a typical day. Masks were required, sanitizer was plentiful, and distancing was enforced in the shops, although we tried to spend as little time inside as possible. We did queue up, however, to purchase some cute Disney masks – even forcing the birthday boy to don a Goofy mask. Then, it was back to the hotel to rest up for our big day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">We planned to get to the park early, not knowing how long the new entrance procedures might take. We needn’t have worried. The parking lot held a few rows of cars, followed by seemingly endless amounts of empty asphalt. The ride over on the Monorail was equally different, yet not unwelcome. Used to being crammed in with several other excited families, we were the only family allowed into our car – after sanitizing, that is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Next came the temperature check station, followed by a quick security check. After that, we were in! Where usually visitors congregate in front of the train station until the gates are officially opened, we discovered that the park had switched to a soft opening, likely so that crowds didn’t form. Park hours had been shortened from 9 a.m. – 7 p.m., with no fireworks, but at 8:40 a.m., we were already making our way up Main Street.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">“Making our way” was not the crush and rush of visits past. In fact, it was the first time we’d been able to see much of the ground on Main Street at all. There were huge pockets of emptiness and we giddily looked at each other to check that this was, in fact, true. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fantasyland with no lines! Truly a sign of the apocalypse...</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">From there we moved through the various lands – Fantasyland, Tomorrowland, Adventureland, Frontierland, and Liberty Square with the same ease. With literally no lines to wait in, wearing a mask in the heat was extremely bearable. By the time we started to feel warm, we were under cover. Although still technically outside and walking through the series of twists and turns designed to keep massive crowds organized, we were cooled by the blasting air that Disney uses to keep people reasonably comfortable. Before you could say, “Go,” we would find ourselves hopping into our seats, lap bars being lowered, and the next escape from reality appearing before our eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">The scene was repeated over and over all throughout the day. Ninety-nine percent of the time it was incredible. The other one percent, our filter would imperceptibly shift, and either my husband or I would be struck by just how strange and surely wrong the world must be for this experience to be true. I actually stopped to take a picture when I saw that the wait time at Space Mountain was listed as zero minutes. Assuming he had cut in front of me, a man backtracked and apologized. When I explained that all was good, I had just stopped to take a picture because I never thought that wait time would be possible, he shook his head in understanding, “I know, it’s so weird, right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Surreal was the word that kept coming to mind. So surreal in fact that by noon my husband was saying things like, “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. When would we ever again get to do Disney like this?” It progressed into, “You know, I think I can move tomorrow’s meeting. Let’s try to go to one more park. I don’t think this will ever happen again.” And we did. Before mid-afternoon, we had purchased tickets online, made our reservation for Animal Kingdom, and extended our hotel stay by one night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">There were no fireworks, but because we had kept moving constantly all day, we didn’t mind the earlier closing time. We saw everything we wanted to and our feet, in true Disney World fashion, were killing us. In an effort to prevent crowds from gathering, there were also no parades, but floats would randomly appear. Having been before, though, and being so delighted to breeze through all of the “lines,” we were happy to trade the full parade away. Also missing, were character meet-and-greets and autograph signing. There, again, Disney had a solution. Characters would appear – socially distanced – at unscheduled times to interact with guests. After walking through Cinderella’s castle, my children were hailed by Cinderella’s wicked stepsisters, Anastasia and Drizella, who were standing at the railing of the castle balcony. There ensued a five-minute back-and-forth conversation between my three and the stepsisters. They talked about souvenirs, traded jokes, and shared names. None of that would have happened if, as in trips past, we needed to move along for the 30 children lined up behind mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">And what about feeling safe? Truthfully, we did. Certainly more so than at various stops along the road home, when we’d see people with their mask down around their chin, or with no mask at all. Disney World is very strict about its safety requirements. Masks must be worn at all times, and must remain pulled up. At one point, I saw a woman pull her mask down from her nose and, within a mere 30 seconds, a staff member was politely asking her to pull it back up. Guests are allowed to remove their masks when eating or drinking. When Disney World realized that some people were doing so while walking, they tightened their guidelines to include the rule that you must remain seated when eating or drinking. For those that need a break from their masks, designated spots are set up around the parks to provide them a moment of respite.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Lines are clearly marked for social distancing, and visitors are regularly reminded not to move to the next line until the party in front of them has done so. There is sanitizer present to use before getting on a ride and after disembarking, as well as sanitizer visible at a plethora of spots around the park. Rides were periodically stopped to be sprayed down with sanitizing solution, then run through one rotation to allow the sanitizer to dry, before guests were loaded up again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Guests are also requested to make any food orders through the Disney World mobile app, and to approach the restaurant only once the food is flagged as ready. There are numerous outdoor seating areas, and, as with ride lines, Disney World’s propensity to air condition the outdoors made dining outside comfortable enough. Should you wish to sit inside, tables were clearly marked off to ensure proper distancing. The same was true of seats in shows, cars on rides, and lines for popcorn and Mickey Mouse head ice cream treats.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I never thought we would have gone to Disney World, and even felt hesitation sharing that we had, knowing that most would think as I did – What?! Are they crazy?!? Having done so, though, I will tell you that it was just the break from hard reality that my people and I needed. It is hard to focus on your troubles when cherubic-faced dolls are singing, “It’s a small world, after all” at you. Or, when your son actually kicks his heels up like a leprechaun when he realizes that, not only has he become tall enough to drive his own car at the Tomorrowland Speedway, but that he doesn’t have to wait 60 minutes to do so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Right now, a bit of magic is what everyone needs, and we felt so lucky to have slipped through the looking glass to get a little for ourselves. We began the long drive home to Texas with hearts a little bit lighter, smiles a little bit bigger, and maybe a sparkly pair of Mickey ears or two.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-46762326710767987492013-10-22T13:54:00.000-05:002013-10-22T13:54:04.307-05:00The Not So Nappy Naptime<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I missed the magic window by only 30 minutes, but I managed to cross the line from sleepy, will nap babies to not ever going to happen, don't even think about it babies.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After 30 minutes of what felt like hostage negotiations - Yes, you need your good rest. Yes, I will rub your back. No, it is not scary, sleeptime is a happy time - I finally made it out of the room... only to be heckled by Sofia over the monitor:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mom! Mom! I tying (crying) for you! </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mom! Mom! I a liddle bit sad for you! I no yike (like) uh-duh napytime!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She finally got me back in with this one:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mom! Mom! My gina is hurting! </i>(I'll let you translate that one)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I headed back in there, sorted out the diaper wedgie, and got the heck out of Dodge. Only to have the heckling start from "Boy":</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mommy! Mommy! My gina hurting!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think it's time to give my son an anatomy lesson...</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-44061492267148785452013-08-09T08:00:00.000-05:002013-08-09T08:00:03.180-05:00We'd Get In A Ditch<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My Banana is a worrier. Usually I don't mind talking her through things, but sometimes she can go on a bit too long.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recently she learned more about tornadoes and that sparked a whole What If? discussion related to tornadoes. On our walk through my mother-in-law's neighborhood (keep in mind, much of the actual conversation has been deleted as to spare you the melting of your brain matter):</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: Dad, what would we do if a tornado came right now?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scott: Don't worry, Honey. There isn't going to be a tornado.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: Yeah, but what if?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: Then we would get inside Ging's house and go into a room on the bottom floor that doesn't have any windows. We would go in the closet where Ging keeps all of the blankets.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: Yeah, but what if we couldn't get there in time?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scott: Well, then you look for a ditch. The ground is lower there so it protects you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: Yeah, but what if we couldn't find a ditch?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: Honey, you can find a ditch or a room without windows pretty much anywhere. We would run to someone's house nearby and go in their closet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: Yeah, but what if there was no closet or ditch?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scott: There would be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: But what if there wasn't.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scott: Trust me, there would be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: Well, what if we were driving in the car?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scott: We'd pull over and get in a ditch.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: Well, what if we were at a park?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: We'd get in a ditch.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: Well, what if we were...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: Let me stop you. Think of your question and then think to yourself - We'd get in a ditch.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: Yeah, but can I ask you one more?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scott: Is the answer - We'd get in a ditch? If so, I don't want to talk about it anymore.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: Well, maybe not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: Okay, last one.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: What if I was outside with my BFF and we were playing with our (nonexistent) bunny, Twitchy?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Us: ANA! WE'D GET iN A DiTCH!!!</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-7890117159054914822013-07-20T13:53:00.001-05:002013-07-20T13:53:52.468-05:00Sanitizer, Anyone?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are regulars at Rudy's - a BBQ chain here in Texas, and I believe other states as well. Saturday mornings all 5 of us can be found eating our various combinations of breakfast tacos: potato and bacon, bacon and egg, egg and potato, just tortillas... there's something for every Bogle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A new item of interest at Rudy's is the automatic hand washer. Ana has been, and remains, petrified of it. I appreciate the fact that I don't have to do anything but put my hands into two rotating cylinders of water. Sofia likes the fact that she gets to Sofia-gallop across the dining room to check it out, and Mr. Reed loves to study it with his future engineer mind. A bonus for the little people is that you get a "My Hands Are Clean!" sticker when you are done.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Saturday routine then involves the running of various errands, followed by a return to home, diaper changes, and Saturday nap time for the Baby Bogles.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imagine my surprise today when I pulled down Reed's shorts and unfastened his diaper to give him a fresh one - there on his Little Reed was a "My Hands Are Clean!" sticker.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No, my son, I am pretty sure that is proof right there that they are not.</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-31812845325388263772013-04-23T13:31:00.001-05:002013-04-23T13:31:38.038-05:00To Each Her Own...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: <i>Mom, how come Charlie's* eyes are so big?</i></span><div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: <i>I guess God just made him that way.</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: <i>Well, why does he cut his hair so short? He looks like a bald man!</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me: <i>Hmmm... I guess he likes it that way. Maybe it feels cooler.</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pause from Ana. Meanwhile I am thinking about how I am going to address that it's not the way a person looks that determines their value. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: <i>Mom? How come Charlie is so cutie wootie?</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Leave it to my girl to throw me for a loop!</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*<i>The names of the big-eyed and bald are changed to protect the innocent</i></span></div>
Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-88183851395140035902013-03-05T13:51:00.001-06:002013-03-05T13:54:22.938-06:00Dirty Mouth<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Had a surreal experience yesterday. I was driving home from the grocery store and I decided to browse through the XM channels to see what I was missing by only listening to the same 3 or 4 stations. This is what I was missing (paraphrased for lack of perfect memory):</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Oh, Martha! I can't believe I'm talking to Martha Stewart!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Hi. Thank you. What is your question for me today?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>It's about pussy willows.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Pussies?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Yes. I got some pussy willows, but I don't think I took care of them right.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Were the pussies soft and gray?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Yes.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>And how did you take care of them?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Well, I tried to cut the shaft and put them in water, but they weren't green.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>No. They wouldn't be. To keep the pussies soft like that, they cut them early and let them dry. There would be no use in cutting them and putting them in water.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Oh, so that's why the shaft was woody when I cut it?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Yes.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I swear. I am not making this up. What blew my mind was that neither of these women sounded like they were laughing so hard they were peeing their pants. I also had no one in the car to sanity check this with.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Reed? Sofia? Are you getting this? </i>was oddly unsatisfying...</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-76777413265880846482013-03-04T08:00:00.000-06:002013-03-04T08:00:04.263-06:00Fifi-Ese<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sofia talks a blue streak. The only problem is, her annunciation is not spectacular. As a result, the same sounding word could mean 3 or 4 different things. I usually have to check to see what she's looking at or pointing to to figure it out completely. Take the following words as example:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Da-dee</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> a. Daddy, as in Scott</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> b. Doggie, as in Cooper, dogs in books, dogs on our walk, etc.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> c. Any random man. All are Daddies.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> d. Dirty. As in my hands where I colored myself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> e. Pen. Because I make my hands dirty when I color with pen. All pens in our house are </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> now known as dirties.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> f. Dolly. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Boy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> a. Boy, as in Reed. This is what he is called now. Fif has changed his name.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> b. Boy. All boys in public are pointed out as <i>Boy. </i>Unless of course there is more than </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> one, then the plural of boy is <i>boyo, boyo, boyo, boyo.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> </i>c. Girl. All girls are also boys. This pisses off pretty much every 3 year old girl we come in </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> contact with.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> </i>d. Boogie. This one is said like this: <i>Boy! Da-dee! </i>(sign language for help), meaning - My </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> boogies are getting out of control and I'm now getting dangerously dirty. Do </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> something about this!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Huht</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> a. Hurt. As in I am hurt from where Boy hit me over the head with a Da-dee (dolly).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> b. Heart. As in what all Valentine balloons were shaped like, which made shopping a </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> challenge. <i>Huht! Ba-oon! </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> Yes, that's a heart balloon. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> Huht! </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i> Yes, that's another </i></span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">heart balloon. </i><br />
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Huht!</i><br />
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> And so on, and so forth...</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-75855247571625791832013-02-28T07:22:00.002-06:002013-02-28T07:22:49.911-06:00My Little Mutts<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we get back from taking Ana to the bus, we unload from the stroller in the garage. We've been working on getting some things together for a big garage sale, so there are toys everywhere, which is of course very exciting to all of the small people in the house.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other day I capitalized on the excitement and left Reed and Sofia in the garage to play while I got some things done in the kitchen. It was quiet. Too quiet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In comes Sofia to the kitchen. Mouth full of something. <i>Uh oh</i>, she says around her mouthful of something.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Sofia? What's in your mouth? Get back here, you Stinker, and show Mommy!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The second I pried open her little jaws, I knew what it was. The smell of wet dog food hit my nostrils like a Mack truck. Trying not to gag, I pried the goopy, stinking mess out of her mouth, much to her dismay.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Given that I have two small messmakers and not just one, it was time to find out what the other half of the pair was up to.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reed was still in the garage, in spasms of glee. He had pulled the lid off of the food and was grabbing it by the fistful and flinging it across the garage floor. It was at this point that his sister, the doggie, would eat it off of the floor. Nice.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All I could think was... <i>Man, I hope this stuff is dairy free...</i> My how my standards have changed!!</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-58852425337287231912013-02-25T07:43:00.003-06:002013-02-25T07:43:48.555-06:00Should Have Been More Specific...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Ana, if you're done with your breakfast, go throw that bowl of sausage to Cooper and then clean up the rest of your dishes.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Where is he?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>In the office. Just toss it over the gate. He'll love it.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5 seconds later...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CRASH!!!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Ana? I meant throw the sausage. Not the bowl.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-39221027016832157382013-02-22T08:00:00.000-06:002013-02-22T08:00:00.582-06:00Dirty, Dirty Girl<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sofia is a talker. Girl has lots to say. Just not lots of words to say it with.</span><div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In her defense, she actually has a lot of words for a 16 month old, an unusual amount, but she still struggles with saying all she wants to say. Her most recent strategy is to use a somewhat similar word to tell us what she wants.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Sofia. You have dirt on your hands. Let's wash you off.</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Dirty! Dirty!</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Sofia. Your diaper is dirty. Let's clean you up.</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Dirty! Dirty!</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Unh! Unh! Dirty! Dirty! </i>(pointing to the kitchen counter)</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>What is it? Your hand's not dirty. Baby, there's no dirty on the counter. Do you want this banana? No? The raisins? No? The pen?</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(nods head, takes pen, and colors on her hand) <i>Dirty! Dirty!</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Oh! Yes! When you color you get dirty! </i>(feeling ridiculously proud for making the connection)</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So now, in our house, we talk like this:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Hey Babe, I need you to sign this tax form tonight. I'm going to the accountant tomorrow.</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Okay. Can you hand me a dirty?</i></span></div>
Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-44407400823289934652013-02-21T08:00:00.000-06:002013-02-21T08:00:06.689-06:00Tales From The Far Side<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yet another conversation I never thought I'd be a part of...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scott in the kitchen, making chili: <i>Hey, Babe?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Yeah?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Do you know where the colander is? I can't find it anywhere...</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Oh. Yeah. It's in the van.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To his credit, he didn't even have to ask why.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For those of you that are wondering, Sofia *had* to have it and I *had* to have whatever would get her in her straps without a fight. There are two to strap down after all...</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-21126229013660300012013-02-12T08:00:00.000-06:002013-02-12T08:00:12.179-06:00If Only I Could...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We took Ana and a little buddy out to dinner Sunday night. Driving home past babies' bedtimes, the atmosphere was a little less than peaceful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana: <i>Mom, can you turn up the music?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana's Buddy: <i>Yeah, and can you turn down the crying baby?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If only I could, little friend. If only I could...</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-77548391217231696872013-02-11T14:11:00.000-06:002013-02-11T14:11:00.784-06:00He Sleeps<br />
<blockquote style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Helvetica;" type="cite">
<div>
I held you while you slept</div>
<div>
Curls damp against my cheek</div>
<div>
Weight heavy on my chest</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I rocked you and breathed in your baby breath</div>
<div>
Your soon to be little boy breath</div>
<div>
And I stilled</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Time folded back and I remembered holding you before</div>
<div>
In my belly, when you were the size of a wish</div>
<div>
On my chest, when you were minutes old</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I held you when you couldn't crawl</div>
<div>
Then when you couldn't walk</div>
<div>
Then when you couldn't run</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You are so precious to me</div>
<div>
So precious that I will go on holding you forever</div>
<div>
First within, then in my arms, and when you are too big, as always, in my heart.</div>
</blockquote>
Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-79170998960132368042013-01-14T08:00:00.000-06:002013-01-14T08:00:09.135-06:00Semantics<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A request from Ana found us watching our wedding DVD. Upon seeing our officiant, she asked <i>Who's that man in the black robe?</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I replied that he was our priest, to which Scott pointed out that he wasn't called a priest because we weren't married in a Catholic Church. This led to me telling him that I knew that, but Ana was familiar with the word which was why I used it. And so it went...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana, tiring of our back and forth about nothing had a solution of her own:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's just go with old gray-haired man.</span></i>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-75316844164682885802013-01-02T08:00:00.000-06:002013-01-02T08:00:04.910-06:00I Swear We're Not RacistsAn Ana encounter on New Years Day started out fine, but quickly went bad. Very bad. It was all a misunderstanding (on Ana's part), but if you didn't know Ana's understanding of history coupled with her personal experiences, you would think that she - and therefore we - were a horribly racist family. <br />
<br />
The Ana translation is included at the bottom of this post, and can be referenced when you come across an asterisk. Or, for the full effect of Scott's embarrassment, save the explanation until the end.<br />
<br />
At a party, Scott is talking to a very nice Indian gentleman. Ana is walking around filming everyone with a little camera that she got for Christmas.<br />
<br />
<strong>Ana:</strong> And here is my Daddy. And some stranger that I do not know.<br />
<br />
<strong>Scott:</strong> Ana, let me teach you how to introduce yourself. Hold out your hand to shake and say, <em>Hello, my name is Ana.</em><br />
<br />
<strong>Ana:</strong> Hello, my name is Ana. Hey! You're Mexican! You're the enemy! (*#1)<br />
<br />
<strong>Nice/Tolerant Man:</strong> My name is Robert. Actually, I'm not Mexican. I'm from India.<br />
<br />
<strong>Ana:</strong> Then why is your skin brown?<br />
<br />
<strong>Super Nice/ Super Tolerant Man:</strong> Well, that is because I am from India and skin is brown there.<br />
<br />
<strong>Ana:</strong> You're an Indian?!? A real Indian?!? Well,... (*#2)<br />
<br />
<strong>at this point, realizing that things could only get worse...</strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Scott:</strong> Ana! Go find your Momma!<br />
<br />
*#1: This past summer we took a trip to San Antonio and toured the Alamo. Ana learned that AT THE TIME OF THE BATTLE OF THE ALAMO, Mexico was our enemy. She can't seem to understand that since WE ARE IN 2013, Mexico is no longer our enemy. Trust me, we have tried many, many times to explain this, but the romance of patriotism has swept her away and there's no getting her back. <em>You're the enemy!</em> was her misguided attempt to stick up for her land. Thankfully she's not our only defense.<br />
<br />
*#2: In Kindergarten Ana learned about Native Americans. The cooperation between the first settlers and the Native Americans was stressed, but, again, the fighting is what stuck in Ana's head. Scott knew that Ana's next response would have been something like...<br />
<br />
<em>Well, where's your bow and arrow?</em><br />
or<br />
<em>Well, can you really shoot a turkey?</em><br />
or<br />
<em>Well, can you grow maize?</em><br />
or<br />
<em>Well, do you live in a tepee</em><br />
<br />
As none of these would have been endearing, given the previous skin color reference coupled with the label of enemy, he opted for the last ditch effort of <em>Ana! Go find your Momma!</em>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-88652267017481795912012-12-20T08:30:00.000-06:002012-12-20T08:30:00.575-06:00My Son Is Not A Nut<span style="font-family: Arial;">Reed loves a big picture book of 100 words. It has pictures of familiar things - keys, pets, etc. - and he likes me to read all of them, making noises where appropriate. The other night, though, he became obsessed with the picture of the phone, pointing at it over and over and saying, <em>uh oh! uh oh! uh oh!</em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">We had no clue what he was doing or why he was doing it.</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial;">No, that's a phone. Can you say phone? The phone says, Brrring brrring.</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">No luck. The phone kept saying, <em>uh oh! uh oh! uh oh!</em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I finally figured out why when Scott called this morning.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Phone rings. Not on the charger. Can't see it on top of a pile, must be under a pile.</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial;">Uh oh! Where's the phone?</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Doh.</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-52648959534541160972012-12-18T08:30:00.000-06:002012-12-18T08:30:00.613-06:00My Imminent Demise<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana had an adorable little friend over for a playdate yesterday afternoon. I found myself, 5 minutes before the bus came, rushing around picking up our insanely messy house. Then I realized that I was cleaning up for a 5 year old. And so I sat down. And watched 4 1/2 minutes of trash TV. It was a good 4 1/2 minutes.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I needn't have worried about the house at all because 20 minutes into the playdate, over a snack and a glass of milk, Ana's buddy declared the following:</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana, I like your house. When your mommy dies, and when your daddy dies, and when you die, and when your babies die, and when your dog dies, I'm going to move in here.</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have to say, I appreciated the idea behind the words, if not the actual words themselves. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shortly after, our little friend did come up with a more acceptable-to-the-Bogle-family-idea:</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hmmm.... or, if the people next door move, I could just move in there.</span></em><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><em>* </em>On another note, I have realized that I am not meant to be an overachiever. I did much better about posting when I said I would post every Monday, than when I decided I would go back to posting every day. So... in the spirit of doing things half-arsed and liking it, I will now be posting 1 or 2 times a week, not sure what day(s) yet. How's that for not pushing too hard? ;-)</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-70062885739681377092012-12-03T08:00:00.000-06:002012-12-03T08:00:01.158-06:00And So We Go To Church...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The last time we were at church was when the babies were baptized at 6 months. They are now 14 months. That does not a stellar record make.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In our defense, after they got RSV, the doctor told us to stay out of church for the entire winter season so that we could avoid the flu. Then, predictable naps kicked in, the first being right during the usual service time. Yesterday, though, there was a 4:00 children's choir and handbell service. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our people like music. Our people like children. Our people like Christmas trees and decorations. Sounded like a win-win way to dip our toes back into church attendance. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Apparently here is also what our people like:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Vocalizing approval of said music, very loudly, and often.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Making hand signs for "more" to start the music back up. When this did not immediately work, grunting was tried as an alternative.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Eating the donation envelope. It is possible for a full third of an envelope to be eaten before the parental unit notices.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. Discussing how the choir does not sing like Justin Beiber, which led to a discussion of how Selena Gomez should be given to Goodwill because Ana will be marrying Justin Beiber someday.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. Walking. Up the aisles, down the aisles, attempting to go to the front of the church because, after all, that's where the cool stairs are.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. Writing a Christmas letter to Santa on the Prayer Request form. At this point, an actual prayer request for Mommy and Daddy would not have been unwelcome.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. Begging for food.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. Circumventing Mommy and Daddy who said they had no food, and asking the Reverend if he had a snack.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9. Later explaining that the snack the oldest child thought the Reverend would have was, "<em>You know. That bit of bread. He's always giving out that bit of bread."</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10. Freaking out about the concept that the bread represents Jesus' body and requesting tacos, rice, and beans instead.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The service started at 4:00. Not sure what time it ended because we left at 4:29. And went to go eat tacos, rice, and beans. Amen.</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-52976035864317772402012-11-29T10:08:00.003-06:002012-11-29T10:08:54.518-06:00Nice Try, Kiddo<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being a Daddy's girl of the last year, and having said Daddy go out of town for work, caused lots of feelings to surface for Ana last night. Add to that two babies that missed their afternoon nap and therefore a Mommy with her arms very full.</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why did you have babies?</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because we wanted babies and God must have known they were right for our family and it was right for you to be a big sister.</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I only wanted to see them, not keep them.</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yeah. It can be hard sometimes, huh?</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yeah! I miss Daddy! You're only holding babies!</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm sorry it feels that way. Sometimes I feel like that too. It will get easier as they get bigger and then they won't need quite as much attention. And, when there's only a Mommy or a Daddy at home, it's a little harder, but we're going to have cuddle time at bedtime, just you and me.</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No! I want cuddle time now! You don't love me anymore!</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That must feel terrible. I'm sorry you feel that way. I try to show you how much I love you and that you'll always be my baby, but maybe there's something else you need. Is there another way that I could show you?</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes.</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What, Baby?</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You could buy me lots and lots of things. We could go to the toy store and I could get everything that I like. Then I would know you love me.</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Needless to say, we did not go get in the car...</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-49733490335962406322012-11-28T08:00:00.000-06:002012-11-28T08:00:07.712-06:00Christmas Caroling, Ana StyleImagine this being sung in a jazzy sort of way... And, while you're at it, see if you can spot where it starts to go off track. Not minorly off track - I'm talking we move from the country road to the highway kind of off track. Still, everyone knows it's not Christmas without a unicorn...<br />
<br />
<br />
<em>In the meadow we can build a snowman</em><br />
<em>And pretend that he is nice and brown</em><br />
<em>He'll say are you married, man?</em><br />
<em>And we'll say no, man.</em><br />
<em>But you can get us married in our town.</em><br />
<br />
<em>Later on, we'll be tired</em><br />
<em>As we sit by the fire</em><br />
<em>We'll sing a song</em><br />
<em>As a bluebird goes along</em><br />
<em>Walking in a Winter Wonderland</em><br />
<br />
<em>In the meadow there will be a deer</em><br />
<em>And lots of snow and that bluebird</em><br />
<em>Then we'll see a bunny</em><br />
<em>And a unicorn</em><br />
<em>And he will have some candy on his horn</em><br />
<br />
<em>Oh, oh, oh</em><br />
<em>Happy Day</em><br />
<em>In a unicorn</em><br />
<em>Way</em><br />
<br />
<em>Happy, happy day</em><br />
<em>Happy, happy day</em><br />
<em>Ho Ho Ho</em><br />
<em>Ho Ho Ho</em><br />
<em>Christ-maaaaaaaasssss</em>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-90213270671126629952012-11-27T08:00:00.000-06:002012-11-27T08:00:04.544-06:00So Not Helping...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LNH-aNFMr8s/ULJRjqbn17I/AAAAAAAAAc0/ufk3S06l-94/s1600/Helpers2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" rea="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LNH-aNFMr8s/ULJRjqbn17I/AAAAAAAAAc0/ufk3S06l-94/s640/Helpers2.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xQfV5G8cQkw/ULJRnnIQSjI/AAAAAAAAAc8/1a2phww9f1k/s1600/Helpers1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" rea="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xQfV5G8cQkw/ULJRnnIQSjI/AAAAAAAAAc8/1a2phww9f1k/s640/Helpers1.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-147062729385389272012-11-26T08:00:00.000-06:002012-11-26T08:00:08.298-06:00Things You Do Not Want To Hear<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>Things you do not want to hear from the back of the van, driving down I-35 (in other words, not safe to pull over):</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Do markers come off?</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why?!? What did you color on?</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Well, do they come off of hands?</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, but stop coloring on your hands. You know they're for paper only.</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Well, do they come off of faces? And lips? And eyelashes? And arms too?</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana!!! Seriously. Stop. No more. We'll wash you off when we get home, but no more!</span></em><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few minutes later...</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. Don't worry, I'm washing all of the marker off myself with my water bottle. I want another shirt! My shirt is wet! I don't like a wet shirt!</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ana!!! Stop!!! It's making the markers run everywhere. Thank you for trying to help, but don't do anything else. We'll take care of it. Put the lid on your water and leave it closed. No more! And you'll have to have a wet shirt until we get home. We can't stop.</span></em><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few minutes later...</span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. Mom, I'm making my face and hands soft with this Chapstick.</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ANA!!! Seriously?!? What is going on back there?!? You know that is for your lips only!!</span></em><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. So not my hair either?</span><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You put it in your hair?!? DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE UNTIL WE GET HOME! GIRL, IF YOU TOUCH ONE MORE THING, YOU ARE GOING TO BE HUNG UP BY YOUR TOES FROM THE FIREPLACE!!!!</span></em><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And this is what we saw when we got home...</span></strong><br />
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Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-91430745843020891232012-11-01T08:17:00.002-05:002012-11-01T08:17:19.305-05:00Candy Pounding<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Now we go home and I eat all of my candy!</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Well, we'll talk about a good amount for you to eat.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>But last year you let me eat as much as I wanted on Halloween night!</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Yeah, that's true, but Mommy and Daddy didn't expect you to eat ALL of it. We thought that you would eat a lot of it, and then your tummy would be full or you wouldn't feel good so you would stop. But, you didn't. You pounded all of your candy. So, we're not going to do that again this year.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>M-o-m!!!</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Don't worry, you'll get to eat a good amount.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Well, then I'm going in the house first and I'm gonna to pound on all of my candy before you can see me! I'm gonna pound it!</em> (takes off running)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Not surprisingly, given that we were ten steps behind her, she did not manage to "pound on" all of her candy, but she did manage to go to sleep sufficiently sugar buzzed. It was a good night to be six...</span>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-46514073073222453302012-10-31T10:30:00.004-05:002012-10-31T10:30:45.169-05:00Happy Halloween!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6465001060679388285.post-46704252517512261682012-10-29T08:47:00.000-05:002012-10-29T08:47:53.675-05:00French Cuisine<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Mom, at Daisies </em>(the precursor to Brownies, which is the precursor to Girl Scouts), <em>we learned about frogs and how you have to catch them carefully or you could hurt them. Some people keep them, but not Daisies. We let them go free to nature. We let them be.</em></span><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh, that's nice! I like to hear that because that's how I feel about animals and little creatures - that you should just let them live how they are meant to live.</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yeah. We're not mean. We don't kill them. Why do people kill frogs?</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, some people actually eat frogs.</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They do?!?</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yeah. </span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why???</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, in France for example, some people like to eat frog legs. It tastes good to them.</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why do they think it tastes good?</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, it's kind of like we eat chicken and think it tastes good. It's kind of like chicken to the people that eat frog legs.</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mom? Can we go to France someday.</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why? Do you want to try frog legs?</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No! I want to tell the people there that it is not chicken. Someone should tell them.</span></em>Alisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07968726600357414400noreply@blogger.com0