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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!






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Monday, October 29, 2012

French Cuisine

Mom, at Daisies (the precursor to Brownies, which is the precursor to Girl Scouts), we learned about frogs and how you have to catch them carefully or you could hurt them. Some people keep them, but not Daisies. We let them go free to nature. We let them be.

Oh, that's nice! I like to hear that because that's how I feel about animals and little creatures - that you should just let them live how they are meant to live.

Yeah. We're not mean. We don't kill them. Why do people kill frogs?

Well, some people actually eat frogs.

They do?!?

Yeah.

Why???

Well, in France for example, some people like to eat frog legs. It tastes good to them.

Why do they think it tastes good?

Well, it's kind of like we eat chicken and think it tastes good. It's kind of like chicken to the people that eat frog legs.

Mom? Can we go to France someday.

Why? Do you want to try frog legs?

No! I want to tell the people there that it is not chicken. Someone should tell them.

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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Beating Down The Pearly Gates

Daddy, please don't take a big bite of my popsicle.

I promise, I won't. Did you know that my Daddy, your Papa, he used to take really big bites. It made me so mad, so I will always take little bites.

He did?

Yep. If I had that popsicle, he would eat half of it in one bite.

Half?!? This much?!?

Yep. It used to drive me crazy, so I will only take a little bite.

Did you tell him not to do that?

I'm sure I did. I don't remember.

Hey! I know something great! When you die you can tell Papa not to take such big bites! That will be great!

Yeah... I can't wait...

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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Outsmarting Six

Ana, eat your oatmeal. We're going to be late for the bus.

But I don't like this kind! This isn't the kind I usually have!

You're right. We're out of that kind so I put colored sprinkles on this kind to make it fun.

But I don't like it different. I don't like how it tastes.

You haven't tasted it! You like oatmeal, right?

Yes.

You like colored sprinkles, right?

Yes.

Then you will like both things together.

No.

You want to be a princess, right?

Yes.

Well, princesses have to go to other kingdoms for great feasts. They are served all kinds of things that they haven't tried before, somethings are even pretty gross, do you think they can sit there with the look that you have on your face?

Ohhhhhh, alright. I'll try it.

Tries the oatmeal

Yep. I didn't like it.


Now, who outsmarted whom?

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Monday, October 22, 2012

Miss Clean

We have a distant relation to the bald cleaning spokesperson, Mr. Clean, living in our very own household. She is almost equally as bald, just not quite as big.

I couldn't figure out what on Earth was happening to my brushes, hair things, toothbrush, socks - basically anything that I needed right when I needed it. That was until I caught the little thief in the action.

Apparently my tiny girl child, who otherwise makes it her mission to completely wreck the house, has thought she would help out by putting some of our things into the bathroom trashcan for us. Given that trashcans in our house overflow until the cleaning person comes, it took me awhile to figure this out. Our lovely cleaning person must have thought I had a screw loose when she emptied the cans, but she was kind enough not to mention my odd clutter purging habits.

I busted the little nut because she just so happened to pull my hair clip out of my hair and crawl off with it. As she was so clearly on a mission, I followed her to see what was up. Straight to the bathroom door, pull it open, crawl over the shredded toilet paper on the floor (an earlier job of hers), and right up to the trashcan. Slam dunk.

In case this wasn't the first time she had made this treck, I emptied this particular round of trash and found:

my hair clip
one of Scott's socks
a spoon
Barbie's sister, Skipper

While I appreciated her efforts at tidying up, I did note that she did not throw away any of her belongings. Apparently she thinks that we are the ones with a hoarding problem. Her current Leggo collection disproves that theory, however. She and I just might have to have a chat...

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Friday, October 19, 2012

A Letter To Our Cleaning Person

Must work on how to translate this one to Spanish...

Dear Cleaning Person,

Please know that I appreciate your thoroughness in cleaning our house. I never expected, however, that you would even clean out the cabinets under the bathroom sinks. I can see how, to you, the scraps and shreds of toilet paper under the sinks looked like trash, or at the very least a fire hazard, however, that is the toilet paper we must use.

You see, every roll that we put on the dispenser is dispensed within 2 minutes flat. And that is if no one saw us put it on. If we were observed during the loading, the time is more like 23 seconds. At first we just threw away the shredded wads of paper, but then we realized that 1) we would be responsible for killing a small forest and 2) we would be getting way too much cash back from Sams Club. So, now we just leave it on the floor and use it as needed, or we shove it under the sink before company comes, or in your case, when we are cleaning so that you can clean.

In the future, no need to throw it away, just close the cabinet and leave the mess in peace. In the meantime, anybody got a napkin I can use?

Thank you,

Alison

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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Hypochondriac Much?

The upside of being a hypochondriac is that you are often on top of illnesses as soon as they start. The downside is that you scare yourself needlessly with imagined health catastrophes.

Scott, God love him, is a minor league hypochondriac. He waited to propose to me while he had something checked out in case I said yes and then he found out he was dying. (He wasn't, by the way.)

There was also the legendary Thanksgiving of '09 when he spent Thanksgiving-Eve and Thanksgiving morning in the hospital. He was taken there by ambulance after suffering symptoms of a heart attack. Turns out it was the McDonalds cheeseburger he ate at Walmart while waiting for new tires to be put on the car. That would give anyone a heart attack!

I'm happy that he takes each time seriously because I don't want him ever to ignore symptoms should a real situation occur. He is also learning to question his immediate self-diagnosis and I think I need to work on that too...

(Scott comes downstairs from working in the office upstairs)

I thought I was having a stroke!

What?!?

Yeah. I was looking at my computer screen and everything was fine. I looked down at my lap and when I looked back up, the sight in my left eye had gone blurry.

Seriously?!? Are you okay?

Yeah. Turns out one of my lenses fell out.

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Monday, October 15, 2012

Issues of Hygiene

My oldest lady does not like to stop what she is doing to use the bathroom. Luckily I think she is part camel, so accidents are rare, but I guess even she couldn't stave off the inevitable one minute more. She made a mad dash to the bathroom and the sound of pottying could be heard.

Hey Mom?

Yeah?

I'm just making the sound of pee-pee in here.

Are you sure you're not actually pee-pee-ing? That sounds pretty real to me.

I'm sure. I'm just pretending.

Are you maybe telling me that so you don't have to take time to wash your hands?

Umm... yes?

Wash your hands.

Okay.

Oh, and Ana?

Yes?

Nice try.

Thanks.

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Monday, October 8, 2012

A Sleepytime Riddle

Question:  When do you not want both of your babies to sleep through the night at the same time, for the first time?

Answer: The night before an important early morning work flight.

The Scene this morning:

Ow. My boobs hurt. What time is it?

Hhhhh.... Uhhhh... I don't know. Late I think.

Will you look?

Sh*t!! Sh*t!! Oh crap!!

What?!? What?!?

It's 6:00!

In the morning?!?

Yes! I'm supposed to be on a plane in an hour!

Are they alive?

I don't know. I think so. I have to get in the shower.

I'll check.

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Friday, October 5, 2012

I'm All For Encouraging A Love Of Reading, But...

methinks that Ana's potty reading habit is getting a little out of control...


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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Lowest Maintenance Relationship Ever

Mom, I don't see Charlie anymore.

No, that's right. He's not at your school now that you're in Kindergarten. He goes to a different school for Kindergarten.

Well, he's still my boyfriend.

Wait a minute. I thought you told me last year that you guys broke up and he wasn't your boyfriend anymore? (And yes, we did have this conversation at age 5. Sigh.)

Well, he's my boyfriend again.

Does Charlie know that?

No. But that's okay.

So... when my girl grows up, she's either going to turn out to be a laid back girlfriend... or a stalker. Could go either way at this point.

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Monday, October 1, 2012

This Time Last Year

September 30th, 6 pm - labor begins. Mom is over making dinner, but I hold off eating knowing that they can't do a c-section if I have just eaten. Call the hospital. My doctor doesn't come in until the next day. Vow to wait because the on call doctor says she will stop my labor - for the 4th time.

September 30th, 10 pm - Mom and Scott go to bed. I can't sleep - am tossing and turning.

October 1st, 2 am - Remember reading that soaking in the tub can help with labor pains. Draw myself the deepest bath ever and climb in.

October 1st, 5 am - Am starving. Haven't eaten since lunch. Mom's leftovers are calling my name. Make myself the breakfast of champions:

baked potato
with cheese
and sour cream
and butter
and salt
and pepper
and chives

God it is good!!!

October 1st, 8 am - Call the doctor. She says to head on in.

October 1st, 10 am - Okay, we should be good to go soon. You haven't eaten anything have you?

Ummmm.... yeah. I had breakfast around 5.

What did you have?

Ummmm... baked potato?

Yep. You're a pregnant person. Well, we're going to have to hold off on surgery then.

Damn that baked potato!

October 1st, 12:25 pm - Given than I haven't yet tossed my potato, they decide to take me into surgery.

October 1st, 12:49 pm - Sofia Britton Bogle, all 5 pounds 6 ounces of her, enters the world. She is perfect, wide-eyed, and, after a moment, loud. The sweetest of sounds.

October 1st, 12:50 pm - James Reed Bogle, 5 pounds 7 ounces, steals our hearts.

Can't believe it's been a year already! Happy Birthday, my little ones!! Now to celebrate with a potato...










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