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Friday, December 31, 2010

Onward and Upward

Chickie finished her last day of her old preschool on Thursday and it's on to the new next Tuesday. I am thrilled about this because it means we're making huge progress. I am less than thrilled that I will be attending with her. To ease her into the transition, I will be attending preschool for an indefinite amount of time.

This is not so bad, it's cute to see her in the new class (we stopped in for lunch one day), making friends and playing like a madwoman. What is less than cute is trying to squish into those little chairs and trying to remain invisible for the day. Children smell weakness like sharks smell blood. And apparently I stink of weak.

Will you tie my shoe? Will you play kitchen with me? Will you open my cheesestick? Will you blow my nose? My teacher's busy, will you help me wipe? (No!)

Wish me luck, Everyone. Hope for a smooth transition with Ana kicking me out of the class by, oh, 9:15 on Tuesday morning ;-)

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Thursday, December 30, 2010

I Got Schooled

I got schooled at the local Skateland yesterday. I am not the skater I once was. Who am I kidding? I was never a skater, but at least I didn't know it. Now I am all too aware that the only way I know how to stop is to crash into the railing. This does not inspire me to roller skate fast. I think it was more like a shuffle that I did around the rink. I was passed by more little children than I cared to count. And this included the little children that had to rent the white PVC roller walkers to help them learn to skate.

Also, my bum is going to hurt tomorrow. This is not a usual side effect of rollerskating, I don't think, but by the end of our hour long skate-a-thon I realized that I had been clenching in a desperate attempt not to hurt if I fell. How this would help me, I don't know. It's not like I was achieving buns of steel level or anything.

I did learn that I still like really fake nacho cheese and microwaved soft pretzels. Real quality food, right there. It is good that I found this one upside - that and the toned glutes, I suppose - because Ana took to rollerskating like a fish to water. Hmm... more like to murky muddy water that the fish almost fell in many, many times, but still enjoyed swimming in. Perhaps I should have left the simile out of it altogether, but you get the point. A good time was had by all, even by me and my aching rear.

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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Photo Selection - Naughty and Nice

Today's post includes a selection of Christmastime photos for your viewing pleasure. Some are nice... okay, one is nice - an adorable one of smiling Ana, and some are naughty - of the stone-passing-face variety that she does so well. Enjoy!

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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Fairy Massacre

Never ignore your senses, no matter what others say. I was smelling a definite burning odor the day after Christmas. Something is burning. Maybe it's the heater. I'm still smelling it. I don't smell it. Could it be because I'm trying to use the VCR? I really don't smell anything.

Thank goodness Ana asked me to go upstairs and retrieve her new fairy dolls for her. It was there that I finally figured out the source of the burning smell. For whatever reason, Rosetta and Silvermist decided to hang from the inside of Ana's lampshade. While the lamp was on.

I quickly figured out that the smell was caused by Silvermist's melting black hair and tiny black hand stump at the end of Rosetta's arm. After a shriek for good effect, I pulled the fairy dolls off of the light and began triage. Silvermist got a cute new 'do and Rosetta's hand was cut off at the wrist.

Not one to like reminders of injury, Ana promptly put them to the side and said that she wouldn't play with them anymore. I was glad to overhear her putting them back into the rotation yesterday, if I was less than happy to hear of their treatment.

Rosetta, you don't get anything to drink because you don't have a hand to hold it!

Silvermist had a rat's nest (what we call a mess of tangles) so God cut it off her hair. Now she has to talk like a boy and go in the garage.

Girls, you can all go to the ball now! But not Rosetta and Silvermist. They have to stay home and sweep and make the breakfast and feed the chickens.

Ana, what counts is being beautiful on the inside. That's right. Now hide Rosetta and Silvermist because they are not pretty, not pretty at all. Hmmm... not quite what I was saying.

I think Rosetta and Silvermist will be starring in my next doll performance of How We Treat Others Even When They Look Different. I'm hoping this will help us when we have our next experience of Mom, how come that lady pushes that thing? (walker) Is it because she is really, really old. Is she going to die now? That's always a pleasant moment for me.

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Monday, December 27, 2010

Post Christmas Musings

1. Christmas is the one day of the year that your child will sleep in when you really don't want her to.

2. Cookies made by Ana are better admired than eaten. Especially during cold/flu season. Enough said.

3. This is so cool! I never had these things before! Did I ever have these things before? This is the best day ever! make late night wrapping worth it.

4. Christmas presents are the presents that keep giving - Ana has happily been playing by herself for two days straight now. I nominate that we celebrate Christmas every other day for perpetuity.

5. It is a good thing that we don't have a Nativity scene in our yard. Ana likes to stop by a Nativity in our neighborhood and "talk to the people." This involves going up to each and every person/angel/animal, patting them, and saying encouraging things like, "Mary, I like your scarf!" and, "Joseph, are you warm enough?" Needless to say, this is not accomplished in under two minutes. Not even under ten. I quickly learned to adjust my walking route if I wanted any real exercise.

6. Promise a Christmas cookie after dinner and the girl will eat anything.

7. I must, must, must be careful about what I let Ana overhear. I muttered something that Ana's Nana's Irish grandmother used to say when she was feeling a bit put upon. Of course, Ana picked up on it and asked me to repeat it, which less than intelligently, I did. Now, as Ana plays with her favorite Christmas present - a dollhouse - she can occasionally be overheard making one or another of her dolls say:

Oh dear, bread and beer
If I were married, I wouldn't be here

Somewhat fitting as she only has female dolls in her dollhouse, but I'm thinking it's not going to go over too well in the kitchen or dress up area of her new preschool come January. Must work on deprogramming...

Hope everyone had a great Christmas! Will have pictures soon :-)

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Friday, December 24, 2010

Nightime Musings

Mom, when will you die?

Not until I'm very, very old.

And you're not old?

No, not that old.

How do you know?

Well, I don't have gray hair yet.

What is gray?

Ummm... you know our neighbors across the street? They have gray hair.

They are very, very old?

(Damage control! Damage control!) No, just older. Not very, very old.

Oh. Daddy's daddy died?


Oh, I'm so sorry for Daddy. Poor, poor Daddy. He will have to get another Daddy.

No, we only have one Mommy and Daddy.

Then maybe you could share yours with him?

That's a good idea. I will do that. You have a kind heart, Ana.

Hush now, Mom. Go to sleep.

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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Wiser Than Me

Mom, what is inside of our body?

Well, you have your blood in there that helps your body live.

No, that's not right. You have your soul and your strength and your heart full of love.

Oh, well there's that too.

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Word To The Wise...

Should your child get invited across the street for her first-ever-away-from-you-playdate, don't get too excited and draw up a bubble bath for yourself and your husband. If you do, your child will return in the exact amount of time it takes you to sink into the tub and be covered in bubbles. Then, you will be forced to answer the door as I was - in a towel, dripping bubbles onto the floor.

"This isn't awkward or anything...," was about all I could come up with to say.

Luckily my neighbor seems cool and has two children of her own, so I'm sure that she was not overly surprised that I hadn't used the time off to catch up on laundry, although that might have been a wiser choice.

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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

You Can Keep Your Flattery...

I may have gone a little overboard with my kidding of Ana. And, I will tell you, imitation is not always the sincerest form of flattery. Sometimes it is just darn annoying.

Occasionally I like to call Ana "Girl". As in, "Come here, Girl, get your biscuits over here." Or, "Don't look at me like that, Girl. I'm going to smooch you if you keep making that face." Slightly strange things like that.

Well, Ana is now talking to me that way. Somehow it doesn't work so well for your child to address you as "Girl".

Giving her a lick of the empty-ish mixing bowl:

Ooh, Girl! You give me some more, Girl! Right now!

Unwrapping her Rudy's breakfast taco:

Hurry it up, you Girl! I'm waiting!

Trying to catch a moment alone in the bathroom:

You done in there, Girl? It's time to play!


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Monday, December 20, 2010

Lucky Me

Ana was a bit sick on Friday and her attitude was showing it. At least she was self-aware:

The sick is making me mad and the mad is making me talk ugly to you.

She could say that again!

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Saturday, December 18, 2010

Took Me Down A Notch

There is nothing like a good dose of Ana for the self-esteem:

(Leaning against me) Mom, did God put a baby in your belly?

No, why? Does it seem like my stomach is sticking out?

Yes. I guess you just ate too much.


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Friday, December 17, 2010


Scott and I have to sit with Ana until she falls asleep. It's not what we would most like to be doing at 7:00 each night, but it's what she needs from us, so we oblige. It's not so bad when she's out in 20 minutes, although I will say that it greatly strains my patience when it reaches over an hour. Last night was looking like it would be one of those nights:

Mom, what's Gloria? I think it's a God song.


Mom, did you brush my hair this morning?


Mom, is Mommy Mary Jesus' mommy?


Mom, I learned that Mommies and Daddies protect their childrens. Right?


Mom, can I watch the Nutcracker ice skating movie in the morning?

Yep. Hush now, Ana, because I am trying to sleep.

Mom, are you asleep?


Oh. Okay.

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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Alpha Girls

Ana and I went to check out her new preschool on Tuesday. She won't start until January 4th, but this was about the fifth time we'd been by - first time we just drove by, second time walked around the parking lot, third through fourth times, walked the halls. Finally we had made it up to the eat-lunch-with-the-class visit. I am taking no chances that she will fall apart again come January!

The visit went even better than I had expected and Ana made quick friends with two other little girls in her class - I'll call them L. and S. The things the three girls had in common were that: they were all pretty tall and they had big imaginations and big voices to match. Ana, L., and S. found a wedding dress in the dress-up corner and jumped right into a game of "wedding". L. wore the dress, Ana wore the veil and carried the flowers, and S. was the photographer. Their exuberance took up a chunk of the play area and all attention went to them.

I had to laugh, then, when I saw the three tiniest girls in the class jumping around and heard them banding together on the sidelines.

Oooh! Oooh! We can be the flower girls. Look out! Here they come! Back up! We'll pretend we have dresses! Oooh! Oooh! Out of their way! Hey! We're your flower girls! They don't hear us - that's okay - we can just march around...

Back in my day, shorty that I was at that age, I would have been one of the flower girls. Only I would have been the one with the big, stick-out tummy.

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Salient Night

Salient night
Holy night
All is cool
All is right

Roun yon virrrren
Little child
Sleep and sleep
Sleep to mild

Sleep in Heaven and peas
Sleep in Heaven and peas

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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Center of Our Universe

Mommy! Come see my favorite ornament! It's this Ana-mornament.

(a ceramic heart with Ana in it)

How nice to have everything be about you! Excuse me, I would like to order some Ali-mint ice cream. Ooh! And then I think I'll get some of that caramel Ali-corn. That's the best.

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Monday, December 13, 2010

On Which Side Her Bread Is Buttered...

Ana to Nana: You are an old, old woman.

Nana: Well, then I guess I can't pick you up anymore if I'm an old, old woman.

Ana: You are a strong and beautiful young lady.

Nana: That's more like it.

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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Back To The Hospital

Continuing yesterday's tale...

When Ana came back to us after surgery, she was just coming out of anesthesia and she was taking it hard - crying, moaning, and thrashing around. Talk about feeling terrible! I had told her she was going in for all of this princess stuff and then Whamo! someone knocks her out, sticks a tube up her nose, and does something to her throat and ears.

We felt a bit better when we were given the okay to leave - we could get her home, love her up, and help settle her down. Imagine our surprise when she started shouting that she didn't want to go home! Part of her distress coming out of anesthesia was due to her feeling robbed - she thought she hadn't gotten to do any of the things we said would happen because of the anesthesia's memory erasing effect.

No! I didn't get to go in the wagon! I wanted the princess gas! Where is my princess bed? You said I could have the princess bed! I was going to be a princess!

Honey, you did do those things, you just don't remember because of the medicine that made you feel all ooey gooey inside.

No! That's a lie to me! I didn't have the wagon! I wanted the gas!

I think we might have been the only family whose child actually refused to leave the hospital after surgery. The only way we finally got her to settle down was to promise her that we'd bring her back today to do all of those things again.

Shhh... don't remind her!

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Friday, December 10, 2010

Cheerio Pie

Scott and I led our little lamb to the slaughter on Wednesday morning. The poor little biscuit has had 15 ear infections in the past 3 years and it was time to get tubes put in. They also decided to take her adenoids out at the same time, so she was in for a rough go.

Chickie has a lot of anxiety around doctors, so we didn't tell her where we were going until we loaded her into her carseat at 5:30 that morning. This is the story she got - We're going to Bailey Square (note that we left off 'hospital') so that another ear doctor can look inside your ears and fix them so they won't get infections anymore. They are going to pull you in a wagon to a room where you will get princess gas and when you are all done, they will wheel you back to us in a princess bed!

To help with her anxiety, they gave her an anti-anxiety medication after we were led into her private room. It seemed to do her well. She turned into her usual crooning self, only this time she was crooning with a slight slur and in the mooshy way that Scott gets when he's had one too many beers at guy's night out.

(add whatever nameless tune you want to the following lyrics and you will probably be pretty accurate in your reenactment)

Mommy, I love you...
You are so cute to me...
I'm gonna make you a Cheerio Pie...
You are so full of love in my heart to me...
Like a rainbow...

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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Order Up

Ana had a slumber party with Nana and Papa Bear Saturday night. Her favorite thing to do on the Sunday mornings following these slumber parties is to climb into bed with Nana and Papa Bear, watch cartoons, and have breakfast brought to her on a tray while she reclines like the Queen of Sheba.

Papa Bear has become the default breakfast maker and Ana knew from whom to get her goodies:

Papa Bear? Can I have bre-test in bed?

Sure, Honey. You would like that?

Yes. I would like eggs, and toast, and orange juice. Oh, and she (Nana) would like a coffee.

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Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Ana and I were at the mall this week getting her glasses unbent. We passed by one of those you-would-think-it-was-a-nightclub-with-that-music-bumping-and-pictures-of-half-nude-models-outside-stores. (Sheesh, I sound old and crotchety!)

Of course, there was a picture of a half dressed young guy and it caught Ana's attention as we walked by.

Ana: Mom! I want to see that boy.

(Not knowing what she had seen, we went back)

Ana: Ooooh! He's nakee!

Me: Yeah. I'm not the biggest fan of you seeing that. I think he needs to be wearing more clothes.

Ana: Mom, it's just a picture. (eye roll)

If she's this world-wise at 4, I think I'm in trouble!

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Tuesday, December 7, 2010


Ana: Mommy, how do Mommy Mary and Daddy Joseph sleep?

Moi: Just like us, Baby. They close their eyes and sleep.

Ana: No, how do they sleep standing up like that?

I guess the Nativity scenes do always show them standing...

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Monday, December 6, 2010


Ana is a funny girl. She always has been - we could see her sense of humor when we first met her at 9.5 months. I'm not making that up.

Her sense of humor has not gone away, however, at 4, it has become a little less refined - if that is even possible. Case in point:

Daddy was laying on the couch. Ana came over and perched her tush on his head.

Daddy, you're a butthead!

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Saturday, December 4, 2010

A Tad Bit Dramatic

We are quite dramatic these days - lately everything is a tragedy.

Mom, you have to go potty, don't you? You should go now. If you don't go to the potty now, you will have to hold yourself. A tragedy!

Mom, do I have to eat all of my dinner to get ice cream? I do? Oh no, that is a tragedy!

Mom, if my princess dress was not long like this, it would not twirl. That would be a tragedy!

If I can't have one more cookie I will be so very sad. That will be a tragedy!

What will be a tragedy is if she actually gets more dramatic as she ages. Can you imagine 13?

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Friday, December 3, 2010

Three In The Bed

Daddy got home from his work trip late last night. Very late. He came into the room, ready to crash into bed, only to find that there were two ladies in his bed instead of the usual one. Miss I-have-to-pee-pee, no now I-need-a-drink, no now I-am-too-scared-in-the-night has been up to her old tricks. Let me tell you, waking once or twice a night does not do anything for my under eye bags. My bags have bags.

At any rate, because Daddy was so happy to see his girls, he created a lovely scenario in his head in which all three of us snuggled up together and slumbered peacefully through the night in familial bliss. So, he climbed in.

Fast forward 6 hours... one of us slumbered peacefully, one of us had a heel in his rib, and the final one of us had a hand over her face. Specifically over her nose and mouth, which doesn't do much for peaceful slumber.

Poor Daddy - I don't think that he imagined that the first words of welcome out of his wife's mouth would be - If you do that again, I will kill you. Sadly, I think he is sufficiently convinced that I might. Welcome home, Daddy! ;-)

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Thursday, December 2, 2010

In The Gutter...

I can't say why for sure, but for some reason I was unable to say the line Ana fed me with a straight face:

Hello, I am the Prince. Welcome to my fancy ball.


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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Pink Super Girl... Again

Daddy is out of town and last night Ana and I were wiling away those last few hours before bedtime. Rather than play another game of pretend with dolls, I filled up a tub full of bubbles and threw both of us in for a nice relaxing soak.

The nice relaxing soak turned into me playing the part of Santa Claus courtesy of a face full of bubbles.

Ana: Santa?

Me: Ho, Ho, Ho! Yes, Ana?

Ana: No. You ask me what I want for Christmas.

Me: Oh. Ho, Ho, Ho! What do you want for Christmas, Ana?

Ana: Fairy dolls (check), a pink Super Girl costume (a recent check), and a pink Super Girl doll (what?!?).

*This was getting ridiculous. Mommy/Santa is not buying ONE MORE THING.*

Me: Dear One, there is no Super Girl doll. The elves do not make a pink Super Girl doll. Just the costume.

Ana: Oh.

And that was it! If only I had thought of that one sooner...

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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Pink Super Girl

We have identified Pink Super Girl's look. Apparently Ana must have seen her in some costume magazine back around Halloween. The desire must have percolated for months, only coming out at the moment we crafted her letter to Santa. It appears that the jolly old man is her muse.

With Ana I dare not make something up, put something together, or find something else and dye it pink. Things have to be just so or the world ends. So for this reason, a pink Super Girl costume is winging its way to us from some generic costume store. I double checked that I had found the right one by calling her over to the computer:

Ana, is this Pink Super Girl?

Ye-uhs. See the pink on her? (pardon me!)

I can. I just wanted to check that this is the one that you like.

That's the one that I like. It will make me fly with my cape.

Honey, kids that wear that can't really fly. It's just for pretend.

No, that's not true. I saw her flying in my book. I can fly like her.

Really, you won't be able to. That's just a picture.

I will show you!

I'm thinking that despite best efforts, Pink Super Girl is still going to disappoint on Christmas morning. Just a hunch.

Also - a HAPPY BIRTHDAY this morning to the brains behind the TheNokayblog.com website - my good friend Grace - who will now probably want to kill me :-)

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Monday, November 29, 2010

Stubborn Cow

Okay, this is one I am not proud of. Not proud of at all.

I had a rough day the other day - was not able to be my usual uber-patient (most of the time), gentle teacher, Mary Poppins aspiring mother self. I had had it just about up to here with playing ponies and dancing and being the prince and being the Nutcracker and dressing dollies and playing restaurant where I am never served any food and pushing a swing for 40 minutes straight. I was not feeling it.

This is when Ana decided to declare that the food that I had made her for lunch was Gross! Yucky! I can't eat this! (gag for effect) She then stuck out her lips in this I'm-irritated-with-you-and-I'm-not-going-to-do-anything-you-say-face that she can make so well when she wants to.

I lost it. Stubborn Cow! I called her under my breath. Sadly not quietly enough. I don't think Ana even knows what stubborn means or why I would pair it with cow, but she got the general idea.

I am not a stubborn cow!

Appalled with myself I went for the cover - When a cow doesn't want to do something, when it is being stubborn, it sticks its lips out just like you did. Moo! I'm stubborn! I don't want to do that. I'm a stubborn cow! Moo!

A couple more moos and she was back to laughing and even threw in a few of her own moos for good measure. I thought the danger had passed until yesterday...

At the fabric store:

Mommy, can we leave now? I really don't want to be here!

Ana, I know you want to leave. I need you to be patient a little bit longer. Mommy can't leave yet, I have to pick out a fabric.

You don't want to go?

No, not yet.

Then you're a stubborn cow!

It was not our finest moment.

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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Letters To Santa

...are not all that they're cracked up to be.

I am an early shopper. I love thinking about what people would want and buying it for them, as soon after the thought strikes me as I can. It's guilt-free shopping - it's not for me and I'd need to buy it at Christmastime anyway. For this reason, Ana's presents have long been taken care of. That was until I had the bright idea to help her write a letter to Santa. What could I have been thinking?!?

Dear Santa,

I love you and love you. Could I please have the fairies (check!)? Could I please have the Super Girl costume? (What!?! Ana, don't you mean you want the Pocahontas costume you've been talking about? No? Why not? You really want Super Girl? Are you sure you wouldn't have more fun being Pocahontas? Super Girl for sure then? Well, this letter looks totally done. Why don't we just end it right there and get it in this envelope real quick.)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and Love,
Anastasia Britton Bogle

An unconsidered downside of shopping in advance - Pocahontas is past her 30 day return period. I wonder if I could pass her off as Pocahontas Super Girl?

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Friday, November 26, 2010

Droopy, One of the Seven Dwarves... Make That Two

Okay, so I have posted before about how this year in particular has seemed to take a toll on my youthful good looks... okay, my youthful looks. I had overlooked one area, though. Luckily Ana was here to bring it to my attention.

Daddy, when I am a big lady I want boobies like Mommy's. My boobies are not big. You can't see them. They are little boobies. Mommy has long boobies.

Not big, People. Long. Thanks, Ana.

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Thursday, November 25, 2010



I know that you were meant to be my child as surely as I know that my heart beats in my chest.

I am so thankful for all of the moments and people along the way that led Daddy and me to you.

I am so thankful that you are now safe, loved, watched over, and adored.

I am so thankful that you have enough to eat, peaceful sleep, and a hand to put your hand in when you are afraid.

I am so thankful that I have many more days to show you just how much I love you - and how much I always will.

Happy Thanksgiving.


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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Birds And The Bees

Luckily I have no real reason to have to correct Ana's interpretation of conception and birth at the moment. I will have to address it someday, however, as I think she has things a little off...

(Looking at a book)

Mommy, let's pretend this lady has a baby in her belly.

Okay, I'll be her daughter talking to her. Mommy, I can't wait until the baby is born and I am a big sister!

Pop! Look daughter! The baby just popped out. Put on a little dress. Wrap her in a fancy blanket. Don't we look cute?

They say the pain of childbirth fades in memory over time, but I think that right there might just be a world record.

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Peanut Gallery

As you know, Ana was recently a flower girl in my cousin's wedding. She was precious, although a little stage-frighty at the walking part. After a brief stint standing up at the front, she beat a hasty retreat to our laps.

No one could accuse her of not still being a part of things, though. Nor could she be accused of not paying attention. Apparently she was paying very, very close attention. So close in fact that when the bride slipped the ring on the groom's finger she was ready with a comment. A loud comment.


Luckily, it being a wedding and everybody being happy and full of good feelings and warm fuzzy things like that, Ana got a big laugh.

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Monday, November 22, 2010

Shoe Fetish

Ana gets very sad when Daddy has to go out of town for work, which he did this past Wednesday night. To help put a positive spin on the night, I told her that we could get dressed up and that I would take her out for dinner, just us girls.

Can we wear make-up?
Sure. A little bit.

Can we wear fancy dresses?
Sure. That's fine.

Can you wear fancy shoes?
Yeah, yeah, I can do that.

The night came and we applied our make-up. I tell her that she has to close her eyes so that she can't see that I actually don't put anything on the brush. I finish up with a swipe of real lipstick, though, and she hasn't busted me yet.

Next, it was time to get dressed. Ana picked out a purple princess dress, white tights, and black party shoes. A sparkly headband finished off her ensemble. Then, it was on to me.

Mommy, please, please, please, please wear this dress!
No, it's too short.

Mommy, please, please wear this one!
No, it's strapless. We're just going to The Cheesecake Factory. I don't want to be that fancy.

Mommy, please, please how about this one?!?
No, Mommy wore that 10 years ago. I don't think it's appropriate anymore, I should just get rid of it.

Here, Ana, I'm going to wear this one. (Black, long-sleeved understated dress)
Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mommy! You said we could be fancy!

Ana, it's cold outside. This is the best dress for me to wear. But, I tell you what, you can pick out whatever shoes of mine you want that match and I promise that I'll wear them.

So, she did. She picked out the one pair of shoes that I had forgotten that I owned because I literally wore them once to show them to Scott. I bought the shoes when I was going through an I'm-too-complacent-I-should-make-more-of-an-effort phase. Phase might be a little strong - more of a blip. Scott says he likes my legs, but apparently the tennis shoes and ratty flip-flops I was wearing all of the time weren't showing them off to their full advantage. So, I tried to surprise him with the highest heeled black number I could find. I brought them home, put them on and... he laughed. Apparently I had bought "hooker shoes".

Picture if you will: Wednesday night a car pulls up in front of The Cheesecake Factory. An adorable little princess in a purple dress steps out, followed by a teetering hooker. Can they really be together? The princess enjoyed the children's bowtie pasta and the hooker went to town on the BBQ chicken pizza. After the cheesecake counter was avoided, the hooker drove the little princess home, took off her aching weapons of torture, and turned back into Ana's Mommy. She then tucked her little dear in with a kiss and went straight to her closet to hide the shoes on the very top shelf. The back of the top shelf even.


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Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Many Faces of Chocolate

To Ana's supreme delight, she discovered that the wedding favor at Cousin Kim's wedding was a box of foil wrapped chocolates - at least 10 or so chocolates a box. To her even greater delight, she discovered that her power as the only child in attendance, not to mention her cuteness and ability to persuade anyone to do anything, meant that she was able to collect around 10 to 12 boxes of chocolates. You do the math. Not good. Come along with me, if you will, as we witness Ana's journey through the Land 'o Chocolate - the highs and the lows:


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Friday, November 19, 2010

Did I Do That?

Has anyone seen The Social Network? Yes, well, if you haven't, Justin Timberlake, playing the part of Sean Parker, tells Jesse Eisenberg, playing Mark Zuckerberg, one of the founders of Facebook that he should drop the "The" from "The Facebook" and should go with the cleaner "Facebook".

Ever one to buck trends (probably not fooling anyone with that statement) and also out of my dislike of Justin Timberlake, barring his "D*ck in a Box" skit (brilliant), I have changed Nokayblog.com to THENokayblog.com.

Okay, confession time, none of it was intentional. I forgot to renew my domain name and some annoying-to-me-person in Australia bought it. In my defense, Go Daddy did NOT send me renewal emails as claimed. Also in my defense, the Dallas Cowboys website was also recently down for the same reason. Okay, scratch that last one - I think it probably hurts my case more than helps it.

Now that I have alienated all Dallas Cowboys and Justin Timberlake fans, I will wrap up by saying... WE ARE BACK! And it feels good. Remember to change your bookmark, if you have one, to THENokablog.com and accept no substitutes.

Posts on Ana's flowergirl debut to come - check back tomorrow!


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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Showing Belly

Okay, so I sort of lied in yesterday's post. By omission anyway. Ana's legs got more than a pack of gum. They also got one of her pre-purchased Christmas presents - a Jasmine costume. I've had this thing sitting in the garage, waiting for December, and when she was so scared and puny at the doctor's office, I used it as the light at the end of the tunnel for her. I confess, I'm not above bribery. Or, distraction with a coveted over-priced cloth item. Hey, it worked.

Anywhoo, she lived in the thing all day yesterday, only taking it off for bed because I told her it would get wrinkled. Her big thrill was that it showed about an inch of her belly, the aforementioned problem that I had with any Jasmine costume and the reason that I told her she could only wear it in the house. Her poor, sad-sack self got me again, though, because I caved and let her wear in the stroller as I walked her around the neighborhood.

On our walk we ran into a little boy that we had never met before. The two of them traded random pointless information for random pointless information in a hair-pulling-when-will-this-end?-fashion:

Boy: What is your dog's name? Can I pet him?
Ana: No, he bites kids. That's Cooper.
Boy: Oh, Cougar, I guess that's why he got his name. Because he's like a big scary kitty.
Ana: He's not a kitty! He's a dog! He's my furry brother.
Me: His name is CooPer, with a P, not Cougar.
Boy: Oh, I guess that's still how he got his name, because it's like Cougar. That's funny.
Me: Uh, yeah.
Ana: See my belly? I'm Jasmine.
Boy: I don't go to the school for this neighborhood. I go somewhere else.
Ana: Hey! Do you see my belly? I'm Jasmine.
Boy: Yeah, I do. My teacher's name is Mrs. Crowe.
Ana: You're not supposed to see my belly - it's only for family to see.
Boy: Well, I do. I like my school.
Ana: You're not my family!
Me: Okay, sounds like it is time for us to go! What time do you get home from school?
Boy: 3:30
Me: (mental note never to walk by here at 3:30)
Ana: Bye! Don't see my belly!

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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Poor Little Bug

Okay, one reason Ana has been struggling is that she STILL has an ear infection. Make that 2 now. We have been battling this for 5 weeks and have been to the doctor's office 6 times in as many weeks. Three different types of antibiotics. Each time it looked like the infection was going to go away, but it would come back with a vengeance. You couldn't tell it by looking at Ana - she was often heard singing Mary Poppin's songs in the doctor's office, which is perhaps why they didn't take it as serious as it was.

Sweet Bug did not have doting parents attending to her her first year of life, so she had to learn to separate herself from pain. She only 3 times told me that her ears hurt - twice of those in the last two days, which was my only indication that things weren't getting any better. I took her in again yesterday to see what was going on in there because of those comments, even though we were only mid-way through a new course of antibiotics.

Level 9 out of 10 on the pain meter said the doctor. Spread to both ears.Poor girl! This he told me while she was climbing on my head and belting out A Spoonful of Sugar. So, they pulled out the big guns - 2 shots, one in either leg. It was a rough go, but Ana rallied, milking her invalid-ness for all it was worth. She got extra stickers, lots of sympathy, and then she told me her legs couldn't move, so she got toted around for the rest of the day. You should have seen her at Walgreens when I set some toys on the floor for her to sit and play with while I checked out.

Mom, I can't sit. Can you help me sit? Whimper. Whimper. Mom, that leg is bent too much. Can you straighten it? It won't move anymore. Mom, I think my legs really need these toys at our house to feel better. Can we get them for my legs?

Her legs did get a pack of gum.

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Monday, November 8, 2010

And We're Back

We have a new record for shortest length of time in which Ana goes a bit wompy and then comes back to us - mark it - 6 days. Not too shabby considering it used to be 4 or so weeks when we first started helping her with all of her anxieties.

I knew we were back when she started serenading me in "the cuddle chair". I had just finished singing a made up song of how much I love her and how wonderful she is. She decided to profess her love in return. I was touched. Mostly. No, truly I was touched, I just could have done without some of the lines:

Mommy, you are so beautiful to me.
I love your kind heart.
I love your kind eyes.
I love you when you are sad and when you are happy and when you are mad.
I love your eyebrows and they don't even poke me.
I love your lips white as the snow. (Say what?)
I love your soft skin. (Stretching it a bit)
I love you when you love me.
I love your brown hair and I love the white hair in your brown hair. (Anytime you want to wrap it up...)
And I love you.


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Saturday, November 6, 2010


Ana is already talking about Christmas, all thanks to some eager beaver in our neighborhood who has had their Christmas lights up since November 1. This does not bode well for us given that Ana had a hard time with Halloween because we started talking about it the morning of, instead of an hour or so before we went out trick-or-treating. Imagine the fun we will have on Christmas with 2 months of buildup...

Anywhoo, right now all is jolly as she talks about the presents that she would like - The Jasmine dress from The Disney Store, but I know you do not like it because it shows my belly, but I will use it in my room in privacies and I will not let anyone see my belly, okay? and wedding gloves, and a tiara, and a wedding dress like yours, Mommy, and fancy panties from The Fancy Panty Store (Victoria's Secret).

My role in all of this is to play the part of Santa. You know, like I am often called upon to impersonate God in our conversations. In this case, though, I just lower my voice an octave and throw in a couple of Ho, Ho, Hos for good measure. So far I seem to be doing a decent enough job. I thought I was close to being fired when I tried to discuss (in Santa character) how good it feels to also give and that we don't need everything in the world. I managed to bring myself back by pretending to give her the fairy set that they have on special at Target these days. Now that I type this, why did I try to avoid my firing? Doh. Must do worse job next time. Maybe I'll talk to her about toy donations..and tithing...

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Friday, November 5, 2010

Gold Digger

Ana has been a little crackers this week. We ride this roller coaster with her - something sets her off and then she pushes us away until she finds her equilibrium. We can tell that we are making progress with all we are doing because the rough times are shorter and shorter.

I'm banking on about another week, given our recent history, but yesterday I thought we might be breaking all records. Chickie came up and snuggled up to me, leaning into my side, tucking her little head behind my back. My sigh of relief was short lived, however, when I realized she wasn't cuddling, she was hiding behind me so that I wouldn't bust her digging for gold. I feel so cheap and used.

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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Say What?

Ana called for a big family hug before bed last night. Squeezing us hard she started expounding on the virtues of family.

Oh...family hug. We love each other. We would never leave ourselves.

Hmm...while on some days I would like to leave myself, I hadn't realized it was an actual possibility. You learn something new everyday.

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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Add This One To The Bunch

I call this one her Passing-A-Stone face:


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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

That's My Girl!

More on Halloween...

I was noticing that our neighborhood sure seemed to like Butterfingers. Ana kept getting them house after house. This was no problem for me because Butterfinger is my favorite candy bar and I consider it a God given right to eat an unnoticeable amount of your children's Halloween candy once they are in bed.

Finally I was close enough to hear her shtick at one of the houses:

Hi! I want some candy! No, I want a yellow one. No, that yellow one.

God love her, she heard me say how yummy Butterfingers were when she got the first one, so from then on she was bound and determined to get one at every house. Unfortunately for her it turned out that she didn't like them at all. I was momentarily cheered by the prospect of lots of chocolaty-toffee-ish goodness in my future until Ana discovered that she did like to suck the chocolate off of them.

I love her, but I don't love her that much.

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Monday, November 1, 2010

Halloween Etiquette

Noticing that Ana was not doing so well with the whole "trick-or-treat" thing when people opened their doors, we decided to practice again mid-treating.

Me: Ana, I'll pretend I'm behind a door. Ding-dong. (I pretend to open the door.) Oh, hello! It's Cinderella!

Ana: Hi, I want to have some candy.

Me: Not quite. Remember, you have to say trick-or-treat first. Let's try again. Ding-dong. (Pretend open the door) Oh, hello! It's Cinderella!

Ana: I said, Hi, I want to have some candy!

I gave her the candy.

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Saturday, October 30, 2010

I Think I Just Got Disconnected

I was reading in one of the parenting magazines that playing telephone is fun to do with 4 year olds because you never know what the word will be by the time it gets back to you. Fighting off the starving grumpies while waiting for our Mexican food last night, I ran Ana through the rules of the game:

Me: I say a word in your ear, then you say the word in Daddy's ear. Let's practice.

Princess (whispered in her ear). Now you whisper princess in Daddy's ear.

Ana: (in a whisper) Princess in Daddy's ear.

AT&T she is not.

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Friday, October 29, 2010

The Not So Great Pumpkin

We had our own little Norman Rockwell scene last night. Daddy came home early for family dinner and then we all cuddled up on the couch together to watch It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Scott and I had fond memories of watching as kids and we wanted to start that tradition with Ana. What we didn't remember was all of the insults that were thrown around, which Ana happened to find hysterical.

You Blockhead!
Are you stupid?!?
I'm gonna knock your block off!

Thanks, Charles Schulz for giving Ana new ammo. You Tootie Butt! was getting kind of old, although I don't think Ana's dentist will find the new sub quite as funny:

Would you stop doing that, you Blockhead! I don't want you to brush my teeth!

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Thursday, October 28, 2010

You'd Think I'd Learn

You'd think the girl that famously turned her hair orange in college would learn. The box says rinse out in 15 minutes; but if 15 minutes makes blond highlights, then an hour and 15 minutes should make really blond highlights, right? Yeah...not so much.

Experimenting with all things natural of late, I have been using coconut oil as a face moisturizer at night. It's a bit greasy, but really fantastic. I was excited to learn that a teaspoon of coconut oil in your hair, washed out after an hour or two, also makes a really great hair conditioner. If washed out in an hour or two makes soft hair, then leaving it in overnight should make it really, really soft, right? Yeah... not so much.

If you see me out today, yes, my hair looks wet, but no, it isn't, it's just really, really coconutty. At least I smell delicious...

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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Fashion Police

Ana is not replicating my apathy-towards-all-things-accessory gene. Not at all. She asked me to tell her a story about meeting Daddy yesterday and here is how it went:

I was in a class in college with Daddy. On the first day I noticed his kind smile, his blue eyes, and how friendly he was. Daddy said he noticed my long hair and my smile too.

Yes, but what were you wearing? Did you have on a dress?

No. I think I was probably wearing a skirt and a shirt.


But, I was younger then, so maybe some fancy shoes.


Daddy and I talked and I thought he was really nice and very funny. He asked me if I would like to go on a date and I said yes. Daddy took me to a restaurant and we had so much fun talking and laughing.

What did you wear? Did you have a fancy dress? Did you wear your hair up in a bun?

I probably did wear a dress. And some jewelry.

Oh, good! That's good!

And so it continued...

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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Shoot Me Now...

Ana started her speech therapy yesterday. It's actually more of a social skills therapy, but whatever... We were sent home with a video about eye contact. Scott and I are supposed to learn the language that the video sock monkey uses and then use that with Ana. No problem there, it's just that we have to keep watching the video with Ana - over and over - so that we can all talk about it ad nauseum.

This is how I am now supposed to talk:

Ana, can you guess what I am thinking about?
Look at my eyes. Can you see what my eyes are looking at?
That's right! The table. Can you guess what I am thinking about?
No, I'm not thinking about going on the swing. I'm thinking about dinnertime. I am using the power of my eyes to show you that it's dinnertime.

If it works, I think this "power of the eyes" thing could come in handy when I do the get-your-finger-out-of-your-nose-in-public stare. Now maybe she will understand what I am thinking about.

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Monday, October 25, 2010

Rubber Foot

Our girl apparently has a rubber foot. Daddy accidentally closed her foot in the car door on Saturday - as in it actually latched. The poor guy felt so horrible that he was literally almost sick to his stomach. Other than a lot of screaming, all Ana has to show for the incident is a pencil thin line of a bruise, I guess from the edge of the door.

Scott felt even worse after it happened because Ana said to him, "Daddy, I'm sorry for you that you closed my foot in the door. I'm sorry that you feel sad about it." Talk about making a guy feel bad!

I think she is secretly enjoying her special status, though. Putting her to bed tonight the conversation went something like this:

Ana, close your eyes now. It's time for sleep.

Yes, but remember that time my foot got closed in the door? See it?

Nice try...

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Saturday, October 23, 2010

Blaylah and The Stone

We are getting quite the collection of crapola at our house. It wasn't so bad when it was scribbles and the occasional paper mask. Those I can tape to the door, fridge, wall, etc. I will also admit that sometimes I make the tape connection a little loose and then Cooper-the-Paper-Eating-Dog puts the latest creation out of my misery.

Ana's teachers are upping the ante lately though and I am none too thrilled. Let me introduce you to the latest member of our family - Blaylah. She is a tube sock filled with rice. Not a child's size tube sock, mind you, but a Daddy size. She has no face, yet she was given a gender and a name. What, I ask you, am I supposed to do with this thing? I am not about to bust out the duct tape and no, she doesn't look good displayed on the mantle. I tried it.

Yesterday, at a little church class, Ana created another illustration of why less is more. We are now the proud owners of a felt stone. And woe to ye who refers to it as a rock. This fine piece of brown-ness is a stone.

Unfortunately my child is way to smart for my own good. She wanted nothing to do with my suggestion that Blaylah and The Stone could have the garage as their own private palace, particularly the back left portion of the palace - behind that box over there.

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Friday, October 22, 2010

Bon Voyage

Half the world now thinks we are going to London. Why do they think this? Well, because our little spokesperson went around spreading falsehoods today. To everyone.

It all started when I was talking about my friend Linda who lives in London (ish) and how I would like to visit her again someday.

Good idea! Let's go to London.

Babe, you had a hard time going to Florida. London is very far away. I don't think we could go some place like that until you felt safer going to new places. When we travel you fight Mommy and Daddy. It's not your fault, you just get scared, but Mommy doesn't want to spend a bunch of money and go on a plane for a long time when you will fight with us.

I won't fight you! I will be brave! Please? Please? I really want to go to London!

Maybe someday we can go. Like when you are 10. Maybe your body will feel safer then and we can do something like that.


This conversation turned into:

Checking in at preschool - I'm going to London!
Soon, maybe tomorrow!

Seeing her teacher - I'm going to London!
Yes! I am!
Wow! That's cool, Ana!
Yeah! I'm happy about it!

Ordering a cookie at the mall - I can eat a cookie in London. With M&Ms. I'm going to London!

To our neighbor when we got home - I'm going to London! I'm going to see my friend Linda! And Mary Poppins!

It is going to be a long six years...

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Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Exclusionist

Ana has been quite the exclusionist lately. I've actually enjoyed it a bit because I've been part of the in-crowd, as in:

Daddy, you can't use this lipstick. Uh, uh, uh! It's for us girls!

Daddy, you can't wear hair clips. Uh, uh, uh! Just us girls!

Even I realized it had crossed a line, though, when Ana started blatant segregation. She laid a long ribbon up the middle of the staircase:

Daddy, you can't walk over here. This is the girls' side. You have to stay on the boys' side. Uh, uh, uh! This side is just for us girls!

Girl power gone wrong...

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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Heckler

Ana is now accosting men in work clothes if she sees them out during the daytime:

Hey! Are you a Daddy?

Yes, yes I am. (Big grin, probably thinking what an adorable child, I love children)

Then go back to your children!

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Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Yesterday Ana created her own approach to therapy. To her therapist:

I'm turning your voice off. Chh-chh!

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Monday, October 18, 2010

What's The Point?

Honestly. What is the point of bringing the camera anywhere when this is what follows a directive of "Smile!":

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Friday, October 15, 2010

About Peed My Pants!

I almost wet myself in front of the approximately 10 other people that were standing with me near the sweet potatoes at the grocery store.

Hey! Those look like penis-is-is!

This was said nowhere near quietly, mind you.

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Thursday, October 14, 2010


One of my New Year's resolutions was to work on interrupting my husband. I don't interrupt because I don't respect him, nor do I do it because I'd rather hear myself talk. I often find what he says interesting and it sparks some thought of my own, which just seems to fly out of my mouth, regardless of whether his mouth is still moving or not. Okay, let me be honest here, pretty much always when his mouth is still moving. Given that this is still the status as of mid-October, I was despairing that this would be a repeat resolution for next year.

I hit upon a solution this week, though. Laryngitis. Given to me by Ana. I literally cannot interrupt anymore. I can't poke the pain anthill that is my throat. God love him, Scott has had many, many complete thoughts these last days. I must get better quickly, though, because I don't think I can keep my own record up and I can't have him getting used to the sound of his own voice! Hopefully Scott doesn't read the blog today or he might start asking Ana to cough in my face.

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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

These Are Your Brains On Nyquil

Ana has been fighting a nasty cold these last few days, which is finally being helped with antibiotics. We still give her Tylenol Nightime at night, though, to keep her coughing down so that she can actually get some sleep.

Last night she choked on it. Whacking her on the back I said, "Poor Baby! It went down the wrong pipe."

Hack. Hack. Hack. What does that mean?

It means that the medicine went the wrong way in your body and you choked.

Yeah, I know. It went into my brains.

Now that would be fast acting, wouldn't it?


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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

She's Got My Back

Apparently Ana thinks her Daddy is in danger of forgetting his ties to me. Maybe he has been acting less affectionate lately or maybe, to her, he seems less attentive. Me, I haven't noticed a difference, but something has gotten her going. She seems bound and determined to remind him of my place in the family.

Hey, Dad! Don't drive yet. Your wife didn't close her door yet!

Dad! Careful! You just bonked your wife!

Hey, Dad! Your wife needs a drink too!

Thanks, Ana.


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Monday, October 11, 2010

Here Comes The Bride...

Ana's little neighborhood bud, Luca, came over again on Friday, bringing his 8 year old brother, Max, along with him.. The three of them went out to her swingset and had the following conversation:

Luca: Ana, I'm glad I met you!

Ana: Awwww.... that's so kind.

Hey, I want to marry you.

Luca: Okay.

Max: Luca, that's what you said to those other girls - Katie, Sarah, Julie, Kristen, and I think Jaime too.

Luca: But this time I mean it. Ana, I will marry you.

Mommy: Ana, getting married is something that people do when they are much older. It's not something for kids to do.

Luca: Yeah, when you're old, like 30. (Thanks, Luca)

Ana: Okay, will you marry me when we're old?

Luca: Sure.

Ana: Awwww... I love that boy. (Hopefully by the time they marry she will reliably be able to remember his name.)

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Saturday, October 9, 2010

Future Vegetarian

Ana: What's that you're eating?

Me: Fish.

Ana: Ooh! Gross! Is it dead?

Me: I certainly hope so.

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Friday, October 8, 2010

Potty Mouth

Someone somewhere along the line taught Ana the word dammit. Scott and I know for a fact that it wasn't us as that's not one we use. Not even on accident.

The first couple of times she said it - months ago - she said it quietly enough that we weren't even sure we'd heard her correctly. The next time she said it it was loud and clear, so we impressed upon her that that was a Mommy and Daddy word and that even we didn't say it because it was not a good word to use. We thought we had gotten the lesson across because the word didn't come up again. Until yesterday, that is.

In a restroom at the doctor's office, I banged myself on the stall door. Cupping my face lovingly in her little hands, Ana said, "Awwwww. Dammit."

Luckily it seems she hasn't quite gotten a handle on the proper usage. Or maybe she just knew that that was exactly the word I wanted to say at that moment if I didn't have a 4 year old audience!

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Thursday, October 7, 2010

Peer Pressure

Ana does not bend to peer pressure. I might be happy about that fact if it wasn't my pressure that she isn't bending to. I guess that makes it adult pressure then?

Ana, will you go get my bag for me and bring it to the computer? I need something in it.


When I was a little girl, I loved to help Nana if she needed help.


But not me! I just want to relax.

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Vocabulary Issues

Ana has invented a new sport - juggling while jogging = Joggling. Picture it.

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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Fantasy Land

It is very difficult to get any kind of information out of someone who lives in Fantasy Land. I submit the following as evidence:

Ana, what did you dream about last night?


Next morning... Ana, what did you dream about last night?


Next morning... Ana, what did you dream about last night? Was it perhaps unicorns?

Yep. Unicorns.

Ana, what did you have for snack at school?

Cupcakes and ice cream.

Cupcakes and ice cream?

Yep. And chocolate and candy and jelly beans and cookies.

Ummm Hmmm.


On the bright side, Fantasy Land seems like a darn nice place to live.

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Monday, October 4, 2010


Ana had a neighborhood boy in her room yesterday. Given her attitude towards people her own size just six months ago, this was more a celebration for us than a harbinger of future things to come. He was an older man of 5 years and he had much wisdom to impart. I know because I eavesdropped.

Ana: Let's color. 1.5 seconds later... Let's do something else.

Luca: No. You need to take your time. Sometimes you just need to slow down and take your time to have fun. See? This is how you take your time and have fun.

Ana: Look!

Luca: A globe! I always wanted a globe.

Ana: This is where I live! I live in America. Where do you live?

Luca: I live next door.

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