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Monday, March 26, 2012

R.I.P. Mr. Snake

We bought a house with a hot tub. A hot tub that doesn't work. A hot tub that we have never fixed and now never will.

While having our deck repaired, the casing around the hot tub was opened and a BIG snake was discovered. Knowing that we have many, many, many children in our house - okay, there are only 3, but I swear they seem like more - the men killed the snake and tossed it over the side of the deck into the grass.

Scott, Ana, babies, and I checked it out later that evening when Scott got home from work. The dead snake of course turned into a discussion about life and death and all things scaly. This led into a funeral for Mr. Snake and another Ana conversation with God. After properly tossing flowers at the snake - you don't want to get too close - Ana addressed the man upstairs.

God? There is a dead snake here. We are sorry that we killed it but we needed to protect children. You made grownups to protect children, so I'm sorry, but they had to help us. Can you tell the snake that? Can you tell him that we still love him?

And God? Can you give him a new body without that hole in it?

And God? Can you give him lots of good things to eat, like ice cream?

Ummm... Ana? Snakes don't eat ice cream (way to be a buzz kill, Mommy)

Oh yeah. God? Can you give him ice cream shaped like mice and rats?

And lots of grass to live in.

That's it. Thanks, God. I mean, Amen.

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Monday, March 19, 2012

Point It Like Beckham

Yesterday was Ana's first soccer experience - practice and game. We joined a great little organization.

Our list of "greats":

1. The practice and game are back to back so there's not too much of a commitment.
2. Said practice and game take place in the afternoon and do not require dragging our sorry rears anywhere at 8:00 a.m.
3. The season only lasts for 8 weeks, so the torture is not too prolonged if it doesn't work out.

Ana's list of "greats""

1. There are snacks.
2. You get new shoes.
3. You get a jersey.
4. There is a trophy at the end.
5. There are snacks.

Perhaps the first clue that we should have practiced with her a bit came during the shoe buying outing. She saw a soccer ball in the shoe store, picked it up, threw it at me, and said, "Mom! We're playing soccer. Why didn't you catch it? Watch me catch it!" Yet still we did nothing...

At practice, our girl was FAST. She is a head above the rest of the team and her long legs get her down the field in no time flat. She would be an enormous asset if she only knew what she were doing. Or had any desire to do it.

Judging by her body language, soccer seems to embarrass Ana to no end. She would run down the field, slowing up only when she reached the rest of the pack and could blend in. She would then do various grimaces and slapping of her hand on her forehead when someone would miss a kick to the ball. Keep in mind, she was nowhere near the ball. Then, when the other team would get the ball... which they did... often... like almost always... she would do a tandem grimace and head slap to indicate that she just could not believe the way this game was going down.

Her crowning glory moment came when, in a stroke of luck, probably bad in her estimation, she found herself alone with the ball. It was the perfect moment to draw her foot back and give a well placed kick. A tap even. Not my girl. She values the fine art of sharing. My girl stood there and pointed at the ball. Go Jaguars!

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Monday, March 12, 2012

Sorry Kid-That-Sat-Near-Us

Driving back from Houston this past weekend, we stopped in at a McDonalds to let Ana stretch her legs on the indoor playground and to grab a snack. Three teenagers sat down at the booth behind us.

Mom! What's that on that boy's face?

Shhh, Baby. I'll tell you later in the car.


Ana! Shhh! It's called acne! I'll explain later!

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Monday, March 5, 2012

Twins + 1 = The Mother of Invention

When Ana was a little one, we had everything she would need. An extra bag was always packed for the car with diapers, change of clothes, wipes. The suggested developmental toys were purchased in advance and toted out at the right times.

Uhhh.... not so for Reed and Sofia. Do you know what a total feat it is to get all three children fed, changed, loaded in Rosie (the van), out, and then back again in the 2 hour window that Sofia's bottle rejection allows me? I'll tell you. IT TAKES A FREAKING MIRACLE!

So, with that in mind, when we found ourselves facing a rather long car trip, I didn't even contemplate going to Babies 'R Us to pick up some of those little black and white cards that go on the car seat to keep Baby occupied. However, I am not one to deny my children completely. A little resourcefulness + People magazine = Voila! Queen Latifah! Your interesting face of the day, Mr. Reed. Enjoy, son.

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