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Friday, December 31, 2010

Onward and Upward

Chickie finished her last day of her old preschool on Thursday and it's on to the new next Tuesday. I am thrilled about this because it means we're making huge progress. I am less than thrilled that I will be attending with her. To ease her into the transition, I will be attending preschool for an indefinite amount of time.

This is not so bad, it's cute to see her in the new class (we stopped in for lunch one day), making friends and playing like a madwoman. What is less than cute is trying to squish into those little chairs and trying to remain invisible for the day. Children smell weakness like sharks smell blood. And apparently I stink of weak.

Will you tie my shoe? Will you play kitchen with me? Will you open my cheesestick? Will you blow my nose? My teacher's busy, will you help me wipe? (No!)

Wish me luck, Everyone. Hope for a smooth transition with Ana kicking me out of the class by, oh, 9:15 on Tuesday morning ;-)

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Thursday, December 30, 2010

I Got Schooled

I got schooled at the local Skateland yesterday. I am not the skater I once was. Who am I kidding? I was never a skater, but at least I didn't know it. Now I am all too aware that the only way I know how to stop is to crash into the railing. This does not inspire me to roller skate fast. I think it was more like a shuffle that I did around the rink. I was passed by more little children than I cared to count. And this included the little children that had to rent the white PVC roller walkers to help them learn to skate.

Also, my bum is going to hurt tomorrow. This is not a usual side effect of rollerskating, I don't think, but by the end of our hour long skate-a-thon I realized that I had been clenching in a desperate attempt not to hurt if I fell. How this would help me, I don't know. It's not like I was achieving buns of steel level or anything.

I did learn that I still like really fake nacho cheese and microwaved soft pretzels. Real quality food, right there. It is good that I found this one upside - that and the toned glutes, I suppose - because Ana took to rollerskating like a fish to water. Hmm... more like to murky muddy water that the fish almost fell in many, many times, but still enjoyed swimming in. Perhaps I should have left the simile out of it altogether, but you get the point. A good time was had by all, even by me and my aching rear.

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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Photo Selection - Naughty and Nice

Today's post includes a selection of Christmastime photos for your viewing pleasure. Some are nice... okay, one is nice - an adorable one of smiling Ana, and some are naughty - of the stone-passing-face variety that she does so well. Enjoy!

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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Fairy Massacre

Never ignore your senses, no matter what others say. I was smelling a definite burning odor the day after Christmas. Something is burning. Maybe it's the heater. I'm still smelling it. I don't smell it. Could it be because I'm trying to use the VCR? I really don't smell anything.

Thank goodness Ana asked me to go upstairs and retrieve her new fairy dolls for her. It was there that I finally figured out the source of the burning smell. For whatever reason, Rosetta and Silvermist decided to hang from the inside of Ana's lampshade. While the lamp was on.

I quickly figured out that the smell was caused by Silvermist's melting black hair and tiny black hand stump at the end of Rosetta's arm. After a shriek for good effect, I pulled the fairy dolls off of the light and began triage. Silvermist got a cute new 'do and Rosetta's hand was cut off at the wrist.

Not one to like reminders of injury, Ana promptly put them to the side and said that she wouldn't play with them anymore. I was glad to overhear her putting them back into the rotation yesterday, if I was less than happy to hear of their treatment.

Rosetta, you don't get anything to drink because you don't have a hand to hold it!

Silvermist had a rat's nest (what we call a mess of tangles) so God cut it off her hair. Now she has to talk like a boy and go in the garage.

Girls, you can all go to the ball now! But not Rosetta and Silvermist. They have to stay home and sweep and make the breakfast and feed the chickens.

Ana, what counts is being beautiful on the inside. That's right. Now hide Rosetta and Silvermist because they are not pretty, not pretty at all. Hmmm... not quite what I was saying.

I think Rosetta and Silvermist will be starring in my next doll performance of How We Treat Others Even When They Look Different. I'm hoping this will help us when we have our next experience of Mom, how come that lady pushes that thing? (walker) Is it because she is really, really old. Is she going to die now? That's always a pleasant moment for me.

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Monday, December 27, 2010

Post Christmas Musings

1. Christmas is the one day of the year that your child will sleep in when you really don't want her to.

2. Cookies made by Ana are better admired than eaten. Especially during cold/flu season. Enough said.

3. This is so cool! I never had these things before! Did I ever have these things before? This is the best day ever! make late night wrapping worth it.

4. Christmas presents are the presents that keep giving - Ana has happily been playing by herself for two days straight now. I nominate that we celebrate Christmas every other day for perpetuity.

5. It is a good thing that we don't have a Nativity scene in our yard. Ana likes to stop by a Nativity in our neighborhood and "talk to the people." This involves going up to each and every person/angel/animal, patting them, and saying encouraging things like, "Mary, I like your scarf!" and, "Joseph, are you warm enough?" Needless to say, this is not accomplished in under two minutes. Not even under ten. I quickly learned to adjust my walking route if I wanted any real exercise.

6. Promise a Christmas cookie after dinner and the girl will eat anything.

7. I must, must, must be careful about what I let Ana overhear. I muttered something that Ana's Nana's Irish grandmother used to say when she was feeling a bit put upon. Of course, Ana picked up on it and asked me to repeat it, which less than intelligently, I did. Now, as Ana plays with her favorite Christmas present - a dollhouse - she can occasionally be overheard making one or another of her dolls say:

Oh dear, bread and beer
If I were married, I wouldn't be here

Somewhat fitting as she only has female dolls in her dollhouse, but I'm thinking it's not going to go over too well in the kitchen or dress up area of her new preschool come January. Must work on deprogramming...

Hope everyone had a great Christmas! Will have pictures soon :-)

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Friday, December 24, 2010

Nightime Musings

Mom, when will you die?

Not until I'm very, very old.

And you're not old?

No, not that old.

How do you know?

Well, I don't have gray hair yet.

What is gray?

Ummm... you know our neighbors across the street? They have gray hair.

They are very, very old?

(Damage control! Damage control!) No, just older. Not very, very old.

Oh. Daddy's daddy died?


Oh, I'm so sorry for Daddy. Poor, poor Daddy. He will have to get another Daddy.

No, we only have one Mommy and Daddy.

Then maybe you could share yours with him?

That's a good idea. I will do that. You have a kind heart, Ana.

Hush now, Mom. Go to sleep.

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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Wiser Than Me

Mom, what is inside of our body?

Well, you have your blood in there that helps your body live.

No, that's not right. You have your soul and your strength and your heart full of love.

Oh, well there's that too.

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Word To The Wise...

Should your child get invited across the street for her first-ever-away-from-you-playdate, don't get too excited and draw up a bubble bath for yourself and your husband. If you do, your child will return in the exact amount of time it takes you to sink into the tub and be covered in bubbles. Then, you will be forced to answer the door as I was - in a towel, dripping bubbles onto the floor.

"This isn't awkward or anything...," was about all I could come up with to say.

Luckily my neighbor seems cool and has two children of her own, so I'm sure that she was not overly surprised that I hadn't used the time off to catch up on laundry, although that might have been a wiser choice.

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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

You Can Keep Your Flattery...

I may have gone a little overboard with my kidding of Ana. And, I will tell you, imitation is not always the sincerest form of flattery. Sometimes it is just darn annoying.

Occasionally I like to call Ana "Girl". As in, "Come here, Girl, get your biscuits over here." Or, "Don't look at me like that, Girl. I'm going to smooch you if you keep making that face." Slightly strange things like that.

Well, Ana is now talking to me that way. Somehow it doesn't work so well for your child to address you as "Girl".

Giving her a lick of the empty-ish mixing bowl:

Ooh, Girl! You give me some more, Girl! Right now!

Unwrapping her Rudy's breakfast taco:

Hurry it up, you Girl! I'm waiting!

Trying to catch a moment alone in the bathroom:

You done in there, Girl? It's time to play!


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Monday, December 20, 2010

Lucky Me

Ana was a bit sick on Friday and her attitude was showing it. At least she was self-aware:

The sick is making me mad and the mad is making me talk ugly to you.

She could say that again!

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Saturday, December 18, 2010

Took Me Down A Notch

There is nothing like a good dose of Ana for the self-esteem:

(Leaning against me) Mom, did God put a baby in your belly?

No, why? Does it seem like my stomach is sticking out?

Yes. I guess you just ate too much.


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Friday, December 17, 2010


Scott and I have to sit with Ana until she falls asleep. It's not what we would most like to be doing at 7:00 each night, but it's what she needs from us, so we oblige. It's not so bad when she's out in 20 minutes, although I will say that it greatly strains my patience when it reaches over an hour. Last night was looking like it would be one of those nights:

Mom, what's Gloria? I think it's a God song.


Mom, did you brush my hair this morning?


Mom, is Mommy Mary Jesus' mommy?


Mom, I learned that Mommies and Daddies protect their childrens. Right?


Mom, can I watch the Nutcracker ice skating movie in the morning?

Yep. Hush now, Ana, because I am trying to sleep.

Mom, are you asleep?


Oh. Okay.

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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Alpha Girls

Ana and I went to check out her new preschool on Tuesday. She won't start until January 4th, but this was about the fifth time we'd been by - first time we just drove by, second time walked around the parking lot, third through fourth times, walked the halls. Finally we had made it up to the eat-lunch-with-the-class visit. I am taking no chances that she will fall apart again come January!

The visit went even better than I had expected and Ana made quick friends with two other little girls in her class - I'll call them L. and S. The things the three girls had in common were that: they were all pretty tall and they had big imaginations and big voices to match. Ana, L., and S. found a wedding dress in the dress-up corner and jumped right into a game of "wedding". L. wore the dress, Ana wore the veil and carried the flowers, and S. was the photographer. Their exuberance took up a chunk of the play area and all attention went to them.

I had to laugh, then, when I saw the three tiniest girls in the class jumping around and heard them banding together on the sidelines.

Oooh! Oooh! We can be the flower girls. Look out! Here they come! Back up! We'll pretend we have dresses! Oooh! Oooh! Out of their way! Hey! We're your flower girls! They don't hear us - that's okay - we can just march around...

Back in my day, shorty that I was at that age, I would have been one of the flower girls. Only I would have been the one with the big, stick-out tummy.

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Salient Night

Salient night
Holy night
All is cool
All is right

Roun yon virrrren
Little child
Sleep and sleep
Sleep to mild

Sleep in Heaven and peas
Sleep in Heaven and peas

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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Center of Our Universe

Mommy! Come see my favorite ornament! It's this Ana-mornament.

(a ceramic heart with Ana in it)

How nice to have everything be about you! Excuse me, I would like to order some Ali-mint ice cream. Ooh! And then I think I'll get some of that caramel Ali-corn. That's the best.

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Monday, December 13, 2010

On Which Side Her Bread Is Buttered...

Ana to Nana: You are an old, old woman.

Nana: Well, then I guess I can't pick you up anymore if I'm an old, old woman.

Ana: You are a strong and beautiful young lady.

Nana: That's more like it.

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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Back To The Hospital

Continuing yesterday's tale...

When Ana came back to us after surgery, she was just coming out of anesthesia and she was taking it hard - crying, moaning, and thrashing around. Talk about feeling terrible! I had told her she was going in for all of this princess stuff and then Whamo! someone knocks her out, sticks a tube up her nose, and does something to her throat and ears.

We felt a bit better when we were given the okay to leave - we could get her home, love her up, and help settle her down. Imagine our surprise when she started shouting that she didn't want to go home! Part of her distress coming out of anesthesia was due to her feeling robbed - she thought she hadn't gotten to do any of the things we said would happen because of the anesthesia's memory erasing effect.

No! I didn't get to go in the wagon! I wanted the princess gas! Where is my princess bed? You said I could have the princess bed! I was going to be a princess!

Honey, you did do those things, you just don't remember because of the medicine that made you feel all ooey gooey inside.

No! That's a lie to me! I didn't have the wagon! I wanted the gas!

I think we might have been the only family whose child actually refused to leave the hospital after surgery. The only way we finally got her to settle down was to promise her that we'd bring her back today to do all of those things again.

Shhh... don't remind her!

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Friday, December 10, 2010

Cheerio Pie

Scott and I led our little lamb to the slaughter on Wednesday morning. The poor little biscuit has had 15 ear infections in the past 3 years and it was time to get tubes put in. They also decided to take her adenoids out at the same time, so she was in for a rough go.

Chickie has a lot of anxiety around doctors, so we didn't tell her where we were going until we loaded her into her carseat at 5:30 that morning. This is the story she got - We're going to Bailey Square (note that we left off 'hospital') so that another ear doctor can look inside your ears and fix them so they won't get infections anymore. They are going to pull you in a wagon to a room where you will get princess gas and when you are all done, they will wheel you back to us in a princess bed!

To help with her anxiety, they gave her an anti-anxiety medication after we were led into her private room. It seemed to do her well. She turned into her usual crooning self, only this time she was crooning with a slight slur and in the mooshy way that Scott gets when he's had one too many beers at guy's night out.

(add whatever nameless tune you want to the following lyrics and you will probably be pretty accurate in your reenactment)

Mommy, I love you...
You are so cute to me...
I'm gonna make you a Cheerio Pie...
You are so full of love in my heart to me...
Like a rainbow...

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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Order Up

Ana had a slumber party with Nana and Papa Bear Saturday night. Her favorite thing to do on the Sunday mornings following these slumber parties is to climb into bed with Nana and Papa Bear, watch cartoons, and have breakfast brought to her on a tray while she reclines like the Queen of Sheba.

Papa Bear has become the default breakfast maker and Ana knew from whom to get her goodies:

Papa Bear? Can I have bre-test in bed?

Sure, Honey. You would like that?

Yes. I would like eggs, and toast, and orange juice. Oh, and she (Nana) would like a coffee.

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Wednesday, December 8, 2010


Ana and I were at the mall this week getting her glasses unbent. We passed by one of those you-would-think-it-was-a-nightclub-with-that-music-bumping-and-pictures-of-half-nude-models-outside-stores. (Sheesh, I sound old and crotchety!)

Of course, there was a picture of a half dressed young guy and it caught Ana's attention as we walked by.

Ana: Mom! I want to see that boy.

(Not knowing what she had seen, we went back)

Ana: Ooooh! He's nakee!

Me: Yeah. I'm not the biggest fan of you seeing that. I think he needs to be wearing more clothes.

Ana: Mom, it's just a picture. (eye roll)

If she's this world-wise at 4, I think I'm in trouble!

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Tuesday, December 7, 2010


Ana: Mommy, how do Mommy Mary and Daddy Joseph sleep?

Moi: Just like us, Baby. They close their eyes and sleep.

Ana: No, how do they sleep standing up like that?

I guess the Nativity scenes do always show them standing...

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Monday, December 6, 2010


Ana is a funny girl. She always has been - we could see her sense of humor when we first met her at 9.5 months. I'm not making that up.

Her sense of humor has not gone away, however, at 4, it has become a little less refined - if that is even possible. Case in point:

Daddy was laying on the couch. Ana came over and perched her tush on his head.

Daddy, you're a butthead!

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Saturday, December 4, 2010

A Tad Bit Dramatic

We are quite dramatic these days - lately everything is a tragedy.

Mom, you have to go potty, don't you? You should go now. If you don't go to the potty now, you will have to hold yourself. A tragedy!

Mom, do I have to eat all of my dinner to get ice cream? I do? Oh no, that is a tragedy!

Mom, if my princess dress was not long like this, it would not twirl. That would be a tragedy!

If I can't have one more cookie I will be so very sad. That will be a tragedy!

What will be a tragedy is if she actually gets more dramatic as she ages. Can you imagine 13?

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Friday, December 3, 2010

Three In The Bed

Daddy got home from his work trip late last night. Very late. He came into the room, ready to crash into bed, only to find that there were two ladies in his bed instead of the usual one. Miss I-have-to-pee-pee, no now I-need-a-drink, no now I-am-too-scared-in-the-night has been up to her old tricks. Let me tell you, waking once or twice a night does not do anything for my under eye bags. My bags have bags.

At any rate, because Daddy was so happy to see his girls, he created a lovely scenario in his head in which all three of us snuggled up together and slumbered peacefully through the night in familial bliss. So, he climbed in.

Fast forward 6 hours... one of us slumbered peacefully, one of us had a heel in his rib, and the final one of us had a hand over her face. Specifically over her nose and mouth, which doesn't do much for peaceful slumber.

Poor Daddy - I don't think that he imagined that the first words of welcome out of his wife's mouth would be - If you do that again, I will kill you. Sadly, I think he is sufficiently convinced that I might. Welcome home, Daddy! ;-)

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Thursday, December 2, 2010

In The Gutter...

I can't say why for sure, but for some reason I was unable to say the line Ana fed me with a straight face:

Hello, I am the Prince. Welcome to my fancy ball.


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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Pink Super Girl... Again

Daddy is out of town and last night Ana and I were wiling away those last few hours before bedtime. Rather than play another game of pretend with dolls, I filled up a tub full of bubbles and threw both of us in for a nice relaxing soak.

The nice relaxing soak turned into me playing the part of Santa Claus courtesy of a face full of bubbles.

Ana: Santa?

Me: Ho, Ho, Ho! Yes, Ana?

Ana: No. You ask me what I want for Christmas.

Me: Oh. Ho, Ho, Ho! What do you want for Christmas, Ana?

Ana: Fairy dolls (check), a pink Super Girl costume (a recent check), and a pink Super Girl doll (what?!?).

*This was getting ridiculous. Mommy/Santa is not buying ONE MORE THING.*

Me: Dear One, there is no Super Girl doll. The elves do not make a pink Super Girl doll. Just the costume.

Ana: Oh.

And that was it! If only I had thought of that one sooner...

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