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Monday, November 26, 2012

Things You Do Not Want To Hear

Things you do not want to hear from the back of the van, driving down I-35 (in other words, not safe to pull over):

1. Do markers come off?

Why?!? What did you color on?

2. Well, do they come off of hands?

Yes, but stop coloring on your hands. You know they're for paper only.

3. Well, do they come off of faces? And lips? And eyelashes? And arms too?

Ana!!! Seriously. Stop. No more. We'll wash you off when we get home, but no more!

A few minutes later...

4. Don't worry, I'm washing all of the marker off myself with my water bottle. I want another shirt! My shirt is wet! I don't like a wet shirt!

Ana!!! Stop!!! It's making the markers run everywhere. Thank you for trying to help, but don't do anything else. We'll take care of it. Put the lid on your water and leave it closed. No more! And you'll have to have a wet shirt until we get home. We can't stop.

A few minutes later...

5. Mom, I'm making my face and hands soft with this Chapstick.

ANA!!! Seriously?!? What is going on back there?!? You know that is for your lips only!!

6. So not my hair either?

You put it in your hair?!? DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE UNTIL WE GET HOME! GIRL, IF YOU TOUCH ONE MORE THING, YOU ARE GOING TO BE HUNG UP BY YOUR TOES FROM THE FIREPLACE!!!!

And this is what we saw when we got home...

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