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Friday, July 1, 2011

When Poop Happens

Yesterday was not a good day in our house for anyone that wanted to avoid anything poopy. Sometimes the shit just runs downhill and, lucky me, I am often the hill.

We started off with a pool playdate. I knew we were in trouble when Ana popped out of the pool, holding her rear, and speaking with a desperate tone of voice - Mommy! I need to go, NOW!

We abandoned one of the flip-flops and made it in time. Or so I thought. I was allowed a few moments of mistaken bliss because Ana likes to use her own stall now.

I'm done! The poop wanted to get on my bathing suit a little bit, but that's okay.

No. No, that's really not okay. You're not in trouble, but let me in so I can help you out.

Poop suit. Poop shoe. Smooshed poop pile on the floor. Got the poop off the floor. Cleaned the shoe and bathing suit off with lots of soap and water.

It was while I was cleaning the suit and shoe that I noticed the smell was not getting better. That's because somehow I had gotten a glob of poop on my shoe and on my foot. Sigh.

Cleaned up my shoe. Cleaned up my foot. Rest of the afternoon went on without incident.

Fast forward to post-dinner/pre-bedtime. We hear a little voice from the bathroom:

That's okay. Sometimes that happens to kids. Sometimes kids poop in their panties without meaning it.

Apparently my Lovely was having a day of intestinal distress. Because Daddy made a dinner of tortillas and refried beans, I was the hill that this particular poop landed at the bottom of. Poop clean up, take 2.

To add to my list of things I never thought I would say:

Ana. Clasp your hands together and leave them like that. I'm serious. I'M SERIOUS. Now you just got poop cheeks. Great! Now we have a poop wall! KEEP YOUR HANDS TOGETHER.

The little poopster is now safely and cleanly tucked in bed. Let's hope this was a one-day kind of deal. I'm not sure I want to sign up for this one again!

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