Stand-up

I now know why I am not a stand-up comedian. Well, besides the fact that I am only funny in small, random spurts. It is because I possess a negative ability to think on my feet. That is worse than no ability to think on my feet, for those of you who were wondering. I also have a terrible sidekick that can't keep a straight face - I am referring to Scott.

Ana, who was avoiding bedtime by claiming a fear of tarantulas: Mommy, the hairy tarantulas bite.
Moi: Yes, they do, but you don't have to worry about them.
Ana: Why?
Moi: Because, they won't bite you.
Ana: Why?
Moi: Because, they live far, far away.
Ana: Where do they live?
Moi: Uh, in Canada. They can't come here. That is so far away that they would have to take a plane. Canada is very, very far.
Scott: Snort. Snort. Snort. I guess that's why they're hairy - to protect them from the Canadian snows. Snort.