Emergencies

To the person whose idea it was to put those plastic doggie doodie bags outside of the apartment pool area, thank you.

To the people whose apartment we "went" by, I tried my best to hold the towel around her as I realize we were right outside of your window.

To the people driving by on the street that got the other side of her, which I was not able to shield from view with the towel, I apologize.

To the person whose bright idea it was to put a lock and key code thingy on the outside of the women's restroom, damn you.

To whomever in my genetic line-up gave me my iron stomach and lack of a gag response, God bless you.