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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

A Relaxing Time... Not!

So I decided to lay down in the backyard and look up into the leaves while Ana played and Cooper ran around nearby. That is one of my favorite things to do - lie under a tree and just daydream.

The other little people in my family had a different plan in mind. This is what my relaxing time looked like:

I plop onto the ground and lay back, looking up through the leaves and branches to the blue sky beyond.

Enter Cooper, slobbered tennis ball in his mouth. Splut. He chucks it onto my chest. I throw it away as quickly as I can, wiping my hands on the grass. The sudden movement has alerted Ana to my restful state. She comes at top speed.

Smash. She stops on a dime. No, make that my hand. Mommy! What are you doing?

I'm just being peaceful, Baby.

Can I do it with you?

Sure, but we do it quietly and still. Can you do that?

Well, of course! 5 seconds later... Mommy, you're the Nutcracker and I'm Ana but I'm a grown up now so we're getting married and this is our honeymoon and we're on the beach, okay?

No, I'm Mommy Alison and I'm resting under the tree. Do you want to rest with me?

Well, of course! She drops - painfully - onto my body, laying herself lengthwise. Given her awesome height, she bashes me in the chin for good measure.

Oops! Sorry, Mommy!

Cooper chooses this moment to chuck the ball at me again, hitting me in the face with slobber. The threat of dog slobber gets Ana moving and she is off like a shot.

One slobber ball tossed and 5 seconds later... Ana's back. This time bearing a sharp stick. Mommy! This mascara and I'm going to put it on your eyelashes! I'm the makeup lady, okay?

Given the track record so far as to how many times I've been accidentally injured, I decline the makeover, citing my good reason. This only serves to further ignite Ana's imagination. Soon I find myself having blush put on with a leaf and the stick is used to put nail polish on my nails.

Chuck. Another slobber ball hits me and I can't remember why I ever wanted to lie on the ground and look up into the leaves. Facing my defeat, I rally the troops and we head back inside. Restful-ish time lying under the leaves - 3 and a half minutes. Injury count - 3. Slobbered laundry to wash - 3 articles of clothing. Odds of me trying that again anytime soon - slim to none!

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