Greatest Hits - 19 months

1. Whoever added sounds to children’s toys should be taken behind the woodshed and taught a thing or two. Ana has a push toy vacuum cleaner that has Cookie Monster’s face on one side and Elmo’s on the other. Depending upon which direction she is pushing, the appropriate character will make some cleaning–related comment. Lately her favorite thing to do is to just slightly push the vacuum in Cookie’s direction so that he is sent into orgasms of cleaning ecstasy - “Oh! Me love to vacuum with you!” becomes “Oh! Me love! Oh! Me love! Oh! Me love!” – over and over. You can imagine that it does no such thing for Mama.

2. There is such a thing as too polite. Case in point:

Ana: Haaaa (Hi)
Person seated next to us on plane for long 2 hour 45 minute flight: Hi
Ana: Haaaa
Person: Hi
Ana: Haaaa
Person: My, she’s friendly
Ana: Haaaa
Person: Hi
Ana: Haaaa
Person: raises book to block out the sight of Ana’s face

3. They say that children help you to see the world in new ways. Mama just thought that the girl was a little loopy because she kept lying down on her back in the oddest places – the middle of the sidewalk, the countertop, the airport hallway. That is until Mama tried it for herself. The most blissful 10 minutes were spent yesterday, side by side, lying on the steps of the back porch. This is why she does it: above us was a beautiful blue sky with an occasional bird flying overhead. The clouds were mesmerizing as they passed over. And, best of all, Mama was rewarded with a big toothy grin once we finally drug ourselves up.

4. Why is it that bathroom stall doors have to start so far off the floor? Is it really necessary to see mid-calf down to ensure that someone is not in the bathroom? Are there really that many dummy feet out there sitting in otherwise empty stalls? The problem with the door being so far off the floor is that it is the perfect height for Baby Limbo. This necessitates some serious distraction action: Ana! Do you want to pull the toilet paper for Mama? Ana! Look! Look! More toilet paper! No, No! Stay here, Ana! Do you want to see Mama flush? That will be fun! Look!