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Greatest Hits - 2 years 8 months

1. English is not very logical. In fact it's not logical at all. More logical is toddler-English. For example, take references to time: tomorrow, tonight, and to-now.

Used in a sentence(s):
Mommy: Ana, you can have ice cream tomorrow. (hoping she will forget)
Ana: No tomorrow, I hab to-now?
2. If you don't want your child to do something, don't bring it to mind - even in a negative sense. To explain: Mommy and Ana went to the petting zoo where Ana took great delight in chasing the poor little goatlings all over the place. After multiple admonishments, Mommy noticed a sign that warned against just such activities. Bringing Ana over to the sign to quote a more authoritative source, Mommy read: No chasing, no riding, no... She was diverted from her oration, however, when Ana, apparently thinking the sign had a very good idea, tried to mount the goat and ride him. Way to go, Mommy.

3. If you are trying to go somewhere nice and have left yourself only 10 minutes to get out the door with your freshly washed and dressed child, do not leave her in the room with a tub of Vaseline. Should you find yourself in a similar situation as Mommy, take your oldest towel and try to wipe the Vaseline out of your child's hair. It will not work, as it did not for Mommy, but at least you will have only ruined your oldest towel and not a good one.

4. Do not bring your almost three year old into a women's locker room. Just don't do it. Mommy and Ana entered the locker room and Mommy knew right away it was going to be bad. Ana got that child-lockdown-stare where her head didn't turn, no matter how far Mommy drug her from the item of interest. It was a woman, completely undressed and talking to her friends (admittedly weird, even for Mommy).
Ana: Nakee!!!!!!!!!! Nakee!!!!!!!!! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Mommy: a peculiar shade of red, concentrated in the cheek area