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Greatest Hits - 2 years 10 months

1. The fastest way to lower your self esteem is to be criticized by your toddler. Afterall, they're not capable of an ulterior motive, so they must be speaking the truth, right? Having just showered, Mommy was in shorts and a bra, Ana's urgent call for a snack having distracted her from throwing on her shirt. Ana is typically told that she has to sit in her chair by herself, but Mommy was feeling generous and offered to let Ana sit in her lap, to which Ana replied, "No! I no like you boobies! No like-a see you nakee! Go outta my chair!"

2. Girlfriend clearly does not live on a farm. While pushing Ana in her stroller during a recent trip to Baltimore, Mommy, Daddy, and Ana encountered a large flock? of pigeons. Ana was beside herself with excitement: "Chickens! Come here chickens! Wanna gib you snack. Chi-ckens!"

3. If you should discover that your toddler has a new phobia of hair - "Mommy! Hair on me foot! Hair on me foot!" (shriek, shriek), you are not a bad person if you should happen to toss in a stray hair from your head to get your stubborn toddler out of the bath, are you? "Look, Ana, - a hair! Here I'll get you out. Don't worry! Don't worry! Mommy's got you."

4. Ana was flipping through one of Mommy's magazines - PG, she swears! - and came across an ad showing a woman laying in bed on top of a man. Mommy only tuned in to the crisis at hand when she heard a little voice ask, "What that mommy doin' on that daddy?" Yikes! "Tickling, sweetie..."