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Greatest Hits - 24 months

1. The lack of privacy and ability to have one’s own life continues. A reflective moment found Mama in the shower, standing on a no-slip tub mat, squishing an Ernie tub toy underfoot. The dog was sticking his muzzled face in the shower and Ana was standing between the shower curtain and the plastic water guard saying “Up! Up! All done!,” indicating that she wanted to pick Mama up out of the shower as Mama should surely be all done by this point (approximately 1.5 minutes into the shower). Mama wished she actually bought Calgon at that point.

2. Darlin’ Face now knows what it is to tickle and she likes to demonstrate her new-found skill on anyone that has the misfortune to stand next to her. Case in point: Mama is standing at the deli counter trying to place an order. “Teeky, teeky. Teeky, teeky.” Mama turns to find Ana tickling a nice man in the rear end – she had the perfect vantage point from her cart. Once again, apologizing to strangers…

3. Woe to those who give our child anymore noise making/lighting-up toys. Our dear Auntie Donna gave Ana light up flip-flop shoes (“foos”) for her birthday. So cute and cool until literally the 50th time in the same day that Mama had to help Ana slip them on. In a flash of brilliance, when Ana turned her head, Mama tossed them over her shoulder behind a pile of stuffed animals. Ana turned back and shouted “foos!”, to which Mama replied “Sorry, but your foos went night-night. I don’t know where they are. They’re sleeping.” “Foos!”, Ana insisted. “No, Baby, they’re sleeping.” “Foos!!!!”, pointing now. Mama turned to follow Ana’s finger and wouldn’t you know it…the darn things had hit with enough force to set off the lights – flashing from within the pile of stuffed animals. Mama:0 Baby & Foos: 1.

4. Mommy HATES shoes!!! She used to think she loved them, but no, She HATE THEM!!! She hates them morning, noon, and night. She would not wear them in a box. She would not wear them with a fox. She would not wear them eating green eggs and ham. She would like to give them all to Sam.

If Little Chickie goes into Mommy’s closet ONE MORE TIME and removes EVERY SINGLE SHOE from within her reach and says “Helper! Helper!” indicating that Mommy must bend down and help her slip her foot into a shoe for a precious 5 SECONDS before she chooses another one - “Helper! Helper!”- so help(er) Mommy, she will give away all of her shoes and walk around barefoot – and this includes in the snow. She is not kidding.